My Windlyn status:

[Nek0Nerd0]

This is where I'll try putting up a status, one status per day only.

And then I have a link in my sig directing to this thread! Let's see how it goes.

[Nek0Nerd0]

15.02.2020:

"Hello hello all, I have been filling my daily journal, and it's sweet."

The last few weeks I was obligated to go out of town to do some sort of research. It was excruciating. I had to wake up early everyday since the train is so sparse and the days start relatively early too.
This is the first in a while I get to wake up later than usual. It's so sweet.

The plan was to originally go out to another town to explore, but I sorta already did that in the same last day of research. So perhaps I'll take a few days of downtime.

And that's also how I get to fill up my personal diary. I just double-purpose it as a research diary. And now I'm two entries away from the current day. It's sweet indeed.

[Nek0Nerd0]

16.02.2020:

"Something cooks should be familiar with: expiry date."

There is a reason why I've been so eager to cook again.
It's because I'm aware that foods and ingredients don't last forever.
Stuff like cream and veggies don't last that long and yet I don't get to stay at home most of the time to cook with them. Of course I get anxious.

So I restocked and hopefully I can get used to cooking again. And enjoying it.

[Nek0Nerd0]

17.02.2020:

"Rules are rules."

Woe is me who knows the rules and follows them as best as I could.

I am a lawful neutral and it bugs me when other people don't do the same.

Because one thing that's for certain is that, if you don't comply to the rules continuously, you can just get kicked out of the apartment. But the problem here is, if other people DON'T follow the rules, I get to be involved. Well of course I get irritated. I'll continue fighting for order until they fear me or listen to me.

[Nek0Nerd0]

18.02.2020:

"Strength? What is that? There is only you."

I have been fighting Clad in my head for a few days. Clad Jesher is one of the main characters in my story, Myora's Curse. And, she won.

She beat me, in this fight. She walked away and I felt horrible.
And right when I was about to give up entirely, my friend kicked some sense into me by saying, hey. No one can replace you. Even if you're a loser in your fight, I will still be by your side. Because you're Nek0. You're my friend.

And then I thought, wait a minute... The things that make me, me, won't ever be taken away. Clad is Clad for what she has, and I can't replace her either. She's just awesome like that. And I'M awesome like that.
Clad and I had a talk and... we're gonna try out something new. She won't release me yet, but we're gonna test something out.

[Nek0Nerd0]

19.02.2020:

"Stability at the cost of expression."

Used to be that I think everyone wants to know what I think.
Maybe that's not always the case. Sure, I won't say anything but the gist is that people would get sick of me if I keep coming up to say what I think.

So maybe sparing it is a good idea. Plus, it makes me more mysterious too.

[Nek0Nerd0]

20.02.2020:

"Bunching everything up together? Is that the answer?"

So, I was offered a new system.

And I wonder if I can implement this tomorrow.

Or should things work like the domino effect?

[Nek0Nerd0]

21.02.2020:

"Our bodies just wanna be sometimes."

I don't feel that well today, so I'm resting up.

I'm just surprised at how cooperative my body is whenever I plan to feed myself. The headache goes away and then I am able to cook something. I don't get it.

[Nek0Nerd0]

22.02.2020:

"Starting from ground up."

I haven't posted any art in my DeviantART page for a whole year. And so when I posted something, nobody looks at it.

That would make sense, considering I lost my momentum. I guess the only thing to do is to draw more and hopefully regain my audience.

[Nek0Nerd0]

24.02.2020:

"Imagine other people's perspectives as glasses. As soon as you grab them, how they appear is unique only to you."

Guess I forgot that there are people who have it worse. I have been focusing on people who have it better than me.

I suppose there is something to learn from this. I'll wrap my head around that soon enough.

[Nek0Nerd0]

18.03.2020:

"It has all been waxing on and waxing off for man. Need I say more?"

For a few days Lightning Farron had agreed to train me as her apprentice. Recently Lightning looked at me warmly and said that I've been looking for a reason to be the best kind of person I can be all of this time, when the act of doing itself beats any sort of reasoning I can come up with, or even find.

And... I realized also that... things aren't... really so tough between apprentice and master. It's a slow yet gradual growth. With a bond that blossoms between the teacher and the student. The student will one day learn and the teacher will practice patience.

And in the end, it will always be beautiful. Alright. I shall get ready.

[Nek0Nerd0]

23.03.2020:

"If I tell you that kindness is an extreme of the spectrum... will you start seasoning your fries?"

I, got sad news that Claire, the original owner of CreamHeroes, was basically treated poorly for her hard work in lifting up a company about to go bankrupt.

I won't comment... on the drama, but I will comment... on sincerity. Because I can see myself, in Claire.

I've been questioning on how kind I should be...? And I wondered how and why others are VERY kind, on dot one, just ready to go. Helping others without judgment.
But then what would happen... if you're helping the wrong person? Kudos on Claire for not looking back, but still. Had she closed up and refused to help this company... she will spare herself the heartbreak and mistreatment. So the question now is... is it about being picky? Or is it about being helpful no matter what? Either way, people will STILL take advantage. It's a matter of how worthy you want yourself to be.

[Nek0Nerd0]

24.03.2020:

"Definition is a creation of man. There will be bias involved."

What am I defined as?

Simon came over with Traves in tow this morning to offer their assistance in my endeavor in life.
People wanna help me for some reason, even when I am at my worst.
Traves and I exchanged some words, only to discover that he thinks I'm awesome and he learns that I think he's cool. Despite our massive differences in belief and identity.

When I asked Terry, he said that my personality defines who I am, not how smart I am.
And, to really let that sink in...
I don't see Simon nor Traves by how smart they are. But rather, by how kind they are. I even see past their self-doubts. These two are smart lads, but just like myself, they are ridden with pessimism and cynicism.
Well now that I got the peers I want, let's see if I'll do things differently today.

[Nek0Nerd0]

27.03.2020:

"When there is something even worse than death, then that's proof that life's more interesting than ever."

I watched the entire season one of Shield Hero.
And I hated every second of it.
Not always though, there are flawless gems here and there. But I know I didn't enjoy the anime.
I took a liking for the protagonist, and no one else. And that's why I didn't enjoy the journey. It's as if I'm as hateful and bitter as the protagonist himself.
But despite that, he takes up his role as the Shield Hero. And, that's something admirable.
When you're the worst and the lowest scum on earth and no one likes you...
Well, that's one hell of a world to save. But since there is something even worse than death, anything is worth living for.
Once you learn that humility stings, you'd sure wanna live up to see where that's going.
I don't fully recommend this anime, but you can watch it once. No need to rewatch it if you hate it. That's it and I wish you all well.

[Nek0Nerd0]

28.03.2020:

"Sudden invite? Then accept it just as suddenly!"

Out of nowhere, someone gave me an incentive to realize my goals and to really start standing up. And it's starting today.

I dunno, it feels weird to be considered personally and by my username. The one noticing is someone who runs the entire Discord server. I haven't been in this sorta environment in a while. A "yeah!" atmosphere with a genuine person who cares about making sure you improve as an individual.

Well, I'll think things up and start gearing back up again. Who knows where this will go. Maybe this is the day I'm finally out of this rut.