Shea & Mika 1x1 RP: Learning to Roleplay!

[Mika]

Alright, so Shea would like me to help teach her how to roleplay, so this is a 1x1 roleplay between me and Shea. I would ask that no one post here please.



Super Basic plot:
:Childhood Friends
:Magic
:Adventures outside of town for excitement
ossibly will incorporate romance as we go to help teach another aspect of roleplaying



Name: Mao-ho
Picture:
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Elemental Power: Air
Short Bio: Mao-ho has lived his life with his childhood friend for many years. He has always had an easy going sort of temper and enjoys being in the company of others. He cant resist the urge for a goof adventure though and seeks it out every day by leaving the town limits with his friend.

Normally the bio would be better than this, but since there is no real big idea plan behind this, I am just making this super short and not much detail. Usually your bio would have more about your characters past or present and would get into a bit of detail to help others get the feel for your character so that they can help roleplay well with them. This is also a basic character format here. Pretty much covers a simple roleplay character. Now if they were to have more specific plots that required more information then usually the maker would have a character outline for you to go by. Just post your character in the next post and we will start after that.

[sheaheart]

Name: Freay
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Power: Earth

Freay is a very simple yet outgoing lass. She's also very cheerful and helpful to all living creatures. She mostly goes out to to pick up herbs and spices for her mother, one of the good cooks in their village. Even though her father died in an exploration trip, she still manages to keep herself jolly and optimistic.

~~ is this alright? *blushes*
sorry for the late response. and thank you!! ♥

[Mika]

She seems good enough for this learning experience. You didn't do bad for your first go!
I shall get this started off if that's okay with you.

Mao-ho was just leaving his small house, he had slept in rather late this morning. He had forgotten that his friend Freay had wanted to go out and grab some more herbs today as he made his way quickly to her mothers house. At least I can grab some breakfast on the go at Freays' house before we go he thought to himself as his stomach growled from not being fed longer than usual.


See what I did there? When he was thinking to himself? I put it in italics. Its a good way to help others identify before hand that the character is thinking to themselves. It can confuse people if you just leave it like normal text and you cant really put it in quotations since the character is actually speaking.

[sheaheart]

The bright shine of the sun from Freay's round window woke Freay up. "What a bright day," she thought. She quickly got up because she remembered that Mao-ho will go with her to pick some herbs. She was always excited to see Mao-ho because she was very fond of him.

Smilingly, she went down stairs and saw her mother cleaning the house. "Good morning!" she greeted cheerfully. Her mother greeted her back and told her that breakfast is ready. So Freay sat down at the table and ate the scrumptious meal of vegetables and flowers. There was some meat served at the table too. But, she ignored it, as it reminded her of her father. After eating and cleaning up the table, she was told to help clean the house because it was cleaning day. "Oh crap!" she thought to herself as she hurriedly helped do the chores. Every cleaning day, her mother does not want any visitors -- well, not until the house is tidy. So Freay did whatever chores left to be done. And hoped that Mao-ho won't arrive early.

~~ Really? Thank you ♥♥
I've lurked on a few RP threads. I just didnt know if I could do it properly.
Thank you so much for agreeing to do this ♥♥

Would you mind if I write this way tho? >///<

[Mika]

Its okay if you do italicize what your character says as well, but in the first paragraph there, when she thought to herself, that shouldn't have had the quotations. Not unless she was voicing her thoughts to herself lol.
But another thing, and if I recall correctly, I think English isn't your original language unless I have you confused with someone else, then whoops. But, you are mixing past and present tenses. Like for example your sentence, 'She quickly got up because she remembered that Mao-ho will go with her to pick some herbs.' That 'will' would naturally be 'would'. In your second paragraph, third sentence, 'breakfast is ready' should have been 'was'. Just to point out a couple of things. Hope you don't mind my thoughts >.<


In your second paragraph, your fifth and sixth sentences could've pretty much been combined and would've flowed nicely.

Mao-ho had made it to Freays' house in a short matter of time and gave a curt knock on the door before entering. He had been coming to this house for years and had been told that he didn't really have to keep knocking, but did it anyways just to be polite. "Good morning ladies!" He said in a cheerful tone, going over to the table and grabbing some of the left over rolls from breakfast. "I'm sorry, I ended up over sleeping this morning," he said, apologizing to Freay.

[sheaheart]

Yes. English isn't my second language. c:
Really? So I must not quote when line isn't spoken?
Thank you for correcting me. I actually want and need that. lol
Did I do okay with the intro story thing? >///<
Oh. this is the part I don't know how to connect.

When Freay was finally done with everything, she sat on the couch and sighed. Her mother heard her and asked what the matter is. "Oh. Nothing." She replied. "By the way, Mao-ho and I are going out in a while. I hope you don't mind since we already finished the chores." Of course, her mother didn't mind because Mao-ho was like a family to them.

And then, they heard a knock on the door. Freay jumped from the couch and hurried to the door. As she expected, it was Mao-ho. She opened the door for Mao-ho and he entered in. Freay was gazing at the view of the field and the woods outside when she heard Mao-ho apologise for waking up late. "It alright actually." She grinned and then asked, "Haven't you eaten breakfast yet?" Freay grabbed her basket which indicated that she was ready to go.

[Mika]

Thought so
Nope. You don't quote when it isn't spoken. Just italics for thoughts.
You did fine with the first post though!
Okay let's see.... When you use the word 'but' it shouldn't usually be the start of a sentence. Its almost a rule in English. When you use 'but' its usually like an add on to a sentence, for example, 'I wanted to eat my cake, but I had already eaten a bowl of ice cream." Or in your case for what you had typed you could've made it, "There was some meat served at the table too, but she ignored it since it reminded her of her father." I changed a word in there, but you can see how it flows better right?
This post is almost perfect. All I really saw wrong was one present tense word and you didn't have to include the 'a' when you said Mah-ho was like family. So good job.

Mao-ho grinned sheepishly as he stuff a couple of rolls in his pockets before stepping back towards the door, noting that Freay was ready to leave. "Well, I did wake up late, remember? Of course I haven't eaten breakfast," he opened the door for Freay and motioned for her to go first. "So where will we be heading out to today? What kind of herbs are you looking to obtain?" He was eager to get outside of the town limits.

Now when I used italics there when Mao-ho spoke, that was to put emphasis on the word did.

[sheaheart]

I swear I hate it when i lose my reply.
I tried to preview my post. but, it didnt load. so clicked the back button only to see the text box empty. oh gods. *sigh

Actually, it could be used as the first word in a sentence. This is only allowed though when connecting two independent clauses.
Yes. thank you for pointing that out. I'll try to keep that in mind ♥♥

"Oh. You know, the usual stuff." She said whilst going out through the door Mao-ho opened for her. She then ran towards the window, and said farewell to her mother.
They were a couple blocks away from Freay's house when she quietly told Mao-ho, "I think I want to go to the woods, a place beyond the borders. Some say there are good herbs there. Well, even better than what we have in our town." She was careful that no one else would hear her except for Mao-ho. Her eyes were sparkling with hope and enthusiasm but with doubt as she said those words.
She always trained but not enough to be good with her magic. And, everyone who had not mastered their magic was not allowed to go out of town.

I will also be going out of town with my family for a few days. I don't know if there will be internet connection there. So it might take a while for me to respond. ><

[Mika]

That does indeed suck.
Eh, I did say it was almost a rule. Its just really really rare to use But at the start of a sentence.
Its fine that you are going out of town I plan to hopefully work on drawing this weekend anyways.

Mao-ho closed the door to the house and followed casually behind Freay. She always said the normal place, but he knew that she would tell him all too quickly once they were out of ear range of other people. They had only gotten a few blocks away before Freay got closer to him and whispered that she wanted to go to the woods today; his face lit into a smile.
"Oh... I think I can manage to get us there," Mao-ho said, casually stretching his arms out behind his head and acting like he was thinking hard on the request. "Alright, yeah lets go there then. Ive been itching for some fun!" He glanced around, before turning to his left and motioning to Freay, "Off we go then," he said, taking her by the arm and pulling her along.

[sheaheart]

Mao-ho and Freay was going along the path to the woods when a villager saw them. "Oh no Mao-ho. He might not let us through. What will we tell him?" Freay whispered as she clung to Mao-ho's left arm.


is this alright? ><

[Mika]

I swear I will reply to this soon! I've just been busy at work with not much time to think about making a lengthy post. I promise I'm not ignoring this! Just give me until Friday or Saturday when things calm down a bit.

[sheaheart]

it's alright! c:
Hope everything goes well ♥

[Mika]

Alright, Im waiting for dinner to cook and it is still fairly early. Here goes~

Mao-ho noticed the villager and thought it over, he figured it would be best to just keep running past the old villager and not say anything. He knew that the old man watched them run by quite often from his home and knew that he wouldnt pose any threat to their adventure today. "I think we will be just fine," he said, reassuring Freay as they just kept on right past the man. They were so close to the western gate now and his excitement was building.