On being "fat"

[I Shall Engrave]

So, I've noticed often in social media that more and more people are embracing "heavier" women. Body positivity is fine. It's a good thing, and I'm all for accepting your body as it is. But some people are going further and glorifying being fat. Claiming that "real" women have "curves" or "meat on their bones". Being thin or petite doesn't make you any less "real". American culture has made it acceptable to be overweight to the point where you can't criticize anyone's figure without being accused of so-called body shaming.

Also, I was having this discussion with a friend of mine over this show that you may be familiar with called Project Runway. If you haven't heard of it, the premise is this: fashion designers compete in various challenges where they are eliminated one by one in pursuit of a large prize. The winning collection of the latest season was a plus-sized collection which was arguably not the best and there's a lot of speculation that it was chosen as a winner because people want to show how approving they are of body positivity and how they aren't at all biased when it comes to size.

Your thoughts on any of this?

[galled]

First I'll say that I'm more a realist and think that Political Correctness, while like many things originally meant to be a good thing, has spiraled out of control. I believe in body acceptance (acceptance in generally all things for that matter that don't destroy or hurt things that don't destroy or hurt things) is about accepting all your body can really be (considering physical and mental issues).

I guess I don't really understand what "body acceptance" really means: That it's OK to be fat? That's it's OK to be really fat? That's it's OK to be really, really fat?? I don't accept that weighing 450lbs is right for me or anyone. If body acceptance means being OK with yourself at any weight you're at, then I think that's great. But once your weight becomes an issue invades my liberty (takes my money, my tax dollars, my physical space where I occupy, etc.), then I have a problem with it because your body acceptance does not trump my rights.

That said, picking a plus size collection on PW is a smart move on many levels business-wise for the show, producers and probably sponsors (I don't know because I've never seen the show), but if another collection was really better, then they ruined the show for less than honorable purposes IMHO.

[MonkeyGirl18]

Oh, man, this reminds me of this tumblr post someone made that they "identify as a fat person" and hates being called thin, hates people saying "you're not fat, you're beautiful" (which I hate that statement no matter what) because she wants to identify as one of the overweight people.

I just think it's more of people are becoming more sensitive as the years go on.

I don't like people encouraging being fat (I don't think that came out right, but whatever). People shouldn't strive or stay oerweight because, yeah, you should be comfy in your body, but you don't want it to be at a point that's unhealthy. I'm not at a weight that would be counted as healthy and my eating habits are unhealthy. I don't want people praising me about me being overweight. I don't want people telling me "It's okay that you're fat. You should be comfortable with it." When literally I'm not comfortable with it at all, not because I'm afraid of people judging me, it's my freaking blood pressure when it goes up because of my weight. >.> But I can't eat as much as I used to which I guess you can say is a plus.

[I Shall Engrave]

galled - I think the original intention of the whole body acceptance movement was to debunk the idea of the media that women need to be thin to be attractive and that people should be confident in any size. It's not a bad concept in theory but now it's at the point where we are welcoming obesity and people no longer have the same motivation to remain healthy because obesity is so commonplace.

Monkey - reminds me of an article I read about a woman who wanted to become blind and had her therapist pour drain cleaner into her eyes to realize this dream. There are conditions where able bodied people wish to be disabled, but that is beyond me.

[Kitalpha Hart]

I saw someone who says that being called fat is a statement of fact, not an insult or compliment. Calls herself fat too
She's not a skinny bean either

[MonkeyGirl18]

I Shall Engrave I watched a video about that lady. I just can't understand why anyone wants to be disabled in any kind of way.

[I Shall Engrave]

Kitalpha - fat is an adjective, not a pejorative. I don't think it should be viewed as such. It's not different from referring to someone as "tall" or "muscular" - it's a physical description no matter how you dress it up.

[Mousy]

I did watch this past season of Project Runway. Her collection was not my favorite by a long shot. It definitely wasn't the best. My husband and I were both disappointed. We thought that she just won because she was the first to design on the show for the "plus-size market." I put it in parentheses because her models weren't what I would even consider to be plus-size, just bigger than everyone else's models.

I am all about being positive and happy in your own skin to a point. If your health is at risk, then you need to take steps to getting things under control. That could be being overweight OR underweight. I have been small my whole life. So are my mom, dad, and sister. I hated it in high school (or even now) when people commented on my body. It was okay in school for other girls to be hateful about my size by calling me names, but it would never have been okay for me to do the same because they were bigger than I was. I was supposed to take their insults as compliments, but it still sent me home every night to look in the mirror and wish that I was more filled out and wonder if there was something wrong with me. After a while, *cough* college *cough* I just accepted that I was healthy and there was nothing I could do about my size. If you are healthy, awesome. If you aren't, then take measures to help yourself.

I love watching the show "My 600lb life." It never emphasizes getting skinny, it's purpose is getting healthy. The dr on the show is extremely real with his patients and sometimes they are successful and sometimes they aren't. There was one episode that spoke on how some people glorify being overweight or are making it into a fetish and how it made her feel. It was really good.

[MonkeyGirl18]

There's this show I like called Super skinny vs super size where they pair up an overweight person with an underweight person, show to them how bad their habits are and try to basically help them gain healthy habits and such. They even have then switch meals, but I like how it also brings in the underweight people because you never see that in shows about healthy weight.

[I Shall Engrave]

Neither extreme is good.

You have to accept what you can't change, but there are people who complain about their weight without making a single effort to change it, and I don't have sympathy for them. I've been told I'm LUCKY to be slim. I'm not lucky. I watch what I eat and I work out regularly. I work for my appearance.

I haven't seen either of those shows because I seldom watch television when I'm by myself.

[Watery Star]

I agree with all of you.
I think you should accept what you are but also strive to be the healthiest you can be. If you're overweight or underweight and accept yourself that shouldn't mean being complaisant. It should mean not hating yourself but wanting to improve.
I use to be skinny. Now, largely due to my chronic illness, I've gained weight and now have to try to lose some. I've accepted that I'll no longer be skinny and will have to work hard to stay at a decent weight. It's tough because I get exhausted easily but I'm not going to let that be an excuse to continue to gain weight.

I haven't watched the lasted Project Runaway. It's disappointing if it was fixed. If I was the winner I'd want to win on my own merit.

[ciel]

regarding project runway, i think it's interesting in that it could be argued that it does more harm than good; people like you notice these things and have a negative reaction, the opposite of what was intended.

i find the concept of 'shaming' to be interesting as well. they put the onus on the individual doing the shaming, without taking into account that 'shame' is a feeling they themselves are experiencing. it seems that if you wanted to prevent shame, it would be more effective to adjust your reaction to the shaming, instead of trying to control the words people use and how they perceive you. essentially, don't blame others for your emotional responses. i think that goes along with the saying from stoicism, "offense is never given, it is always taken"

[Bassy]

I use this anonymous app and people just shame on bigger women so much, it makes me sooooooooooooooo mad. I don't see much of people embracing it

[ciel]

:<

i really do wonder if its a reaction to the forcefulness of the 'beauty at every size' movement.

i'm not saying anyone deserves that kind of treatment, but i wonder if a stigma has arisen where people stereotype larger women as the pushy, 'if you're not attracted to me you're a bigot' type?

perhaps its a case of the vocal minority ruining it for the majority?