Nursing Homes Good or Bad? You decide!

[Blue Jay]

So I figured along with making a Rant about the one my grandmother is in I would ask if anyone else would like to voice weather they like them!

[Backstory]
Ok back story a bit. Two years ago my mother died from Brain cancer and on that same day my uncle her twin brother had a seizure that night. So he was rushed to the hospital and started on medication to prevent it. The hospital instructions were for him to see a doctor but of course he had no interest in it and so didn't go. He ran out of his anti-seizure medication and had a stroke. Now he is paralyzed on his right side and can't walk. So he ended up in this one nursing home. He lived with my grandmother and so took care of getting the groceries, mail, and other such stuff that she couldn't do anymore. With him gone we didn't know what to do because she can't walk let alone drive anywhere. She lived in an upstairs apartment and couldn't get to the door if someone delivered something. So we moved her to a Downstairs apartment after a few months of my uncle making no progress. Around Halloween of 2013 my grandmother fell three times and was rushed to the hospital. It was one time too many and so she was sent for physical therapy at the same nursing home my uncle is in. My grandmother was only supposed to be there for rehab but we had to decide on her future. She couldn't live alone anymore and she would never of gone to live with my other uncle who lived out of state. She can't get up alot of stairs and that rules out our house since we have alot of stairs. We could of gotten a live in aide but that would mean I would have to give up my weekends to let the aide have off! Since my sister wouldn't of come to visit often enough to help take care of her and my uncle who lives out of state hasn't seen us since my mother's funeral two years ago. So that rules him out completely and so we tried to talk about it but nobody would. Then it was decided that despite not being Power of Attorney we would have my out of state uncle decide what should happen. He chose to keep her in the nursing home as a Paying resident at $300 a day! That was the day before Thanksgiving of 13! So now it's been 2 years for my uncle and a little over a year for her! Both of them are still under the impression they are coming out of the nursing home to live together in an apartment for the rest of their lives because they don't want to accept they live there. [/backstory]


[rant]
This nursing home is absolutely horrible and I hate it. First off the nurses take so long getting to the patients to be put in a chair. What if my grandmother was choking to death on something they need to rush. The one nurse barely even helped my grandmother into the wheelchair and had my grandmother who almost fell over do it herself. The food I heard from my uncle is horrible but then again he was an extremely fussy eater before that so can't go by him. The doctors are hardly ever there and only come once a month if that. My grandmother had a hearing aide when she went in that was dying out so she was given a new one! That thing cost my grandmother over 4k and the freaking nursing home lost the hearing aide! They LOST the hearing aide! They didn't even tell us we had to find out from my grandmother! So then they replaced it since they had to by law! The one they got doesn't work at all and it was supposed to be seen by the Audiologist! However I went to see her and she doesn't have the new one at all. We asked around for it and they didn't even know where it was! So my dad calls today to find out what the deal was and the director gave us the STUPIDEST answer!!! The reason my grandmother doesn't have her hearing aide for a MONTH is because get this they ran out of the special batteries. It's a nursing home that is affiliated with a Hospital! They should have those things on hand in a place like that! Seriously how can you not have batteries on hand especially since NORMAL people who have the same hearing aide can pick them up at CVS! I am so freaking annoyed right now that I want to slam my fist into a pillow! [/rant]

[Mika]

From cleaning houses I can tell you that nursing homes are bad. We see a lot of in home nurses treating their clients like crap and I can only imagine what happens in a nursing home. Not to mention they are way expensive.... And usually the person who is living in the nursing home isn't happy. Not to mention that the nurses dont clean like they shoukd either... We actually had someones kid call us in the clean their parents nursing home room because there was poop on the walls and it was disgusting.... Now on the other hand when we have clients who make it possible for their family member to live in home with them, they are much happier and unless their health is really bad off, you don't have to worry about a nurse treating them bad. That's just my opinion.

[Blue Jay]

I wish I could have her live with us but we don't have a good house for her to live in.

[Mousy]

Nursing Homes make me so sad! I'm sure there are some really great ones out there (if you can afford it.) I have a grandmother in a home because she was not doing well health-wise and refused to take her medicine and got really confused and it wasn't safe for her to be at the house she was at when she wouldn't take her meds. We go visit her, but she doesn't really remember us. The staff we see is pretty nice and she gets to share a room with her sister, so that's nice too. But i've heard so many horror stories about nursing homes. I was in a sorority in college and we would go to nursing homes on Fridays and play bingo with the residents. After bingo was over, we would just sit and visit until their next activity or dinnertime. The common theme amongst the residents was how much they missed their family and how they didn't visit very often. It broke my heart to know that I was visiting with this sweet old lady more often than her own flesh and blood. Just visit your family! Dang! Terrible, awful things can happen at nursing homes. Keep your family safe and visit them often. T_T

[Blue Jay]

I try to visit as much as I can. Too bad her last living kid doesn't even care enough to visit her once. He always states he can't get off work but it's been a YEAR since she ended up in there and he could of put in for it. He just doesn't want to see her.

[The Tentacle Lover]

Personal care aides are usually better than nursing homes. >.> You can choose their hours to suit your needs, they don't have to be LPNs or more, they can be paid at a lower rate, there isn't a contract and you get the comfort of your own home...

[Turtle Sensei]

Jay. What about getting certified as a personal loving aid for her and then getting a small apartment to care for her in?

[Blue Jay]

I wish that I could but sadly I don't have the money for it and even if I did I am smaller then her so helping her out of bed and in the shower is going to be to difficult to do. Plus if I did move her out then that would mean I would have move my uncle out since she won't leave him and have to care for both of them.

[Exclusive]

im so sorry about your situation some nursing homes really suck...and that really frustrates me how she couldnt get her hearing aid :/

my opinion on nursing homes? my grandmother was in 2 different nursing homes in her final years. she was in a really bad one at first, it was really bad, nobody treated her right, and she stayed in her room all day, she ate in her room, didnt interact with anybody. the next nursing home, they had built a new one (not to mention it was like 5 minutes away from my house so way easier to visit her) so the employees and people living there got transferred there. it was AMAZING. it was huge, beautiful, there was a huge living space in the front room by the front desk with lots of chairs and spaces for wheelchairs and a huge flat screen tv, a fireplace (probably electric) and a few chess tables, then there was the kitchen (with apparently eh food, not good, not bad, but edible) then there was also a church (that i never saw but my grandmother went as often as she could when she started coming out of her room) and there was an activity room, a hair/nail salon, prize room for bingo, (just little dollar store things and socks and shampoo and seasonal stuff and stuff people donate, my mom donated a few of her crafts sometimes) and then there was a library that also had a few chairs and a flat screen tv in it, and then there were the bedrooms. it all sounds too good to be true, but that the way it was. there was also a courtyard that was open in the warmer months. everyone on staff there knew my grandmother and was very kind to her, and before she started coming out of her room they were like her only friends. but when she finally started coming out of her room she made friends, sat at a table for meals with her friends, played bingo, went to church, and was just happier overall. but the nursing home was a huge step up for her from living on her own besides visits from the mailman who she talked their ear off and her neighbor who she also talked their ear off and petting her cat all day. the only problems we ever had with the nursing home was a mean person bugging my grandmother and the lady at the desk stealing money from peoples accounts (she got fired) oh and they also took them on field trips! i think my grandmother got to go to the zoo once, or got the chance to go to the zoo, and i know she went to a baseball game once (i dont think she liked sports, well honestly i dont know but im sure she had fun) but thats my experience with nursing homes, i think you just have to find the right one. they're not all that bad. im glad my grandmother got to spend her final years NOT by herself at home and surrounded by her friends and staff that genuinely cared about her and were actually very very sad when she passed. i think her friends sent the front desk a card to send to us if i remember correctly, but im not sure.

that was a lot to read. tl;dr: not all nursing homes are as bad as everyone says they are. my grandmother went to a really good one where staff genuinely cared about her and the environment was beautiful and she had nice friends. you just need to find the right one. not saying transfer your grandmother, but just saying that maybe you just have a bad one.

[Blue Jay]

That's awesome that you had a good one for your grandmother CluClu I wish I could have one for my grandmother but she would never leave my uncle.

[Yokuutsu]

Nursing homes, in general, aren't bad, it's the employees that can be horrible.

If they had good workers, more than likely, they would not have lost the hearing aid and have batteries....though maybe the aid would've still been lost because people mess up and make mistakes.

I mean, if people in the family can't or won't take care of them, it's better there than on their own where there's no chance of help if something goes wrong. Not saying it can't happen at the nursing home too, but at least there should be someone there to have a chance of helping them, you know what I mean?

[Blue Jay]

Yeah that is true that alot of people end up in them because family can't take care of their family members.

[Kitalpha Hart]

We treat prisoners better
We should send criminals to nursing homes and the elderly to jail

[Blindekind]

the nursing homes here are actually not as bad as at your place. There are good ones and bad ones, the one near us is a good one also the living quality is much better if its about rooms and people that nurse the elderly. For the one my grandma stays at its...ok-ish...true they have their hands full but there are some nurses I do not like. However what my family does not admit is that my grandma is very much a handfull and she has a tendency to hurt people if they do not listen to her. And she's not on the third floor where the ill people are ( my grandpa was on the third, had altzeimer). My family blames everything on the nurses..but I can see the point of vieuw of the nurses too because...basically she can be dangerous. but there are things that I wish they didnt do...

[Silverfire]

It depends. A lot of the good ones are independent, meaning that a lot of the clients aren't on some form of state aid and are rich enough to afford the higher cost. And the place doesn't rely on the state helping them along.

Most of the bad ones are state ran. And I have some horror stories in how bad the states treats things. (If you are in the USA that is, there's really no excuse everywhere else for things to be this bad).

First off, I have done clinical work in a state ran nursing home here in my town. So I know this from experience and not pulling things out of thin air.

State ran homes depend on the state giving them aid. Something breaks? Gotta file a form with the state asking for the money to fix it. 9 times out of 10 it's denied, even if it's an important item. I have seen a entire bathroom and shower area shut off because the pipes broke but they don't have enough money to fix it without help from the state. And the state denying that because 'it's not important'.

Nursing home only has three nursing staff taking care of 20+ clients during the night? State says that is all they can pay for, too bad (and, yes, sometimes there are just three nurses and two aids and maybe one housekeeper taking care of EVERYTHING in the night shifts). But the state won't pay for more. So there is a lot of people working the night shift that don't actually get paid they just come there to work. There's a lot of people at the near-by hospital that will get off of work and head over there and pull shifts off the books because they at least want to help. Can't help that the state shafts things. Most of the time this practice is illegal though, just depends on the place and how badly they need workers.

Low food supply? Bad equipment? Clients sometimes being left too long? Bad workers? Seriously put the blame on the state and not the nursing home. They are just doing what they can with what small amount of aid they receive. They hire what they can when they can and just get so mad and frustrated when someone is a pile of crap but they can't afford to fire them because it might take weeks to find someone new that can do what the pile of crap can do. A lot of nurses and aids and other workers don't even want to work in a nursing home because it's so stressful. A lot want to treat everyone like family, and would like to do more, but they can't because they have to take care of half a wing and they just don't have the time to do what they even need to do. But they at least get done what has to be done, even if things are a little curt.

And if certain government laws get past, it's gonna be even worse. Some places can barely keep the lights on with the money they get from clients and the state combined right now (and that isn't counting medicine costs, costs for towels, costs for food, costs costs costs). If aid is cut to the elderly even more than it is, places are going to hurt even more.