Soul Harvesting (idk, something but hi)

[HellbentHeretic]

So, figured I might as well toss this into the fray and watch what happens. I'm generally chill with anyone, so feel free to join in. Looking to just chatter mindlessly. My particular interests are music, games (both single-player and mmo/online games. hmu, I would like to know what I play and if we can play together. Always down for gaming buddies.), starting to get back into anime and manga, cosplay, roleplay, and mental health. I'm down with venting and ranting and hearing ppl out. I dunno. Go ham, folks. If I need to establish ground rules, I'll set those up in the future when it's called for.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

stopping by to randomly chat...by mental health do you mean to cleanse your mind? Sometimes I just need to remove myself from a situation to get some peace of mind.

[HellbentHeretic]

stopping by to randomly chat...by mental health do you mean to cleanse your mind? Sometimes I just need to remove myself from a situation to get some peace of mind.

I just mean mental health in general. Crap day at work and need to vent, cool. Depression being a butt, I'll hear you out. I have clinical depression and anxiety, I know people with a lot tension on their plate with BPD, bipolar, dysmorphia, and whatnot (There's so much more that I haven't heard from). I wouldn't say I'm a professional, but I have a lot of personal experience to share and understanding. Plus I'm always open-minded to learn more about things I don't understand too because I always love to learn more depth things about mental illness (not only a good thing to understand but often there's things I learn from other people to take to heart and apply myself.). That and I just like listening, be there for people however I can be.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I definitely have a few people I've come across in my life that don't seem to understand common sense...and its never their fault no matter how much you can prove it!

Yes, there seems to be a lot of tension and stress...do you think there has been for past generations or do you think this generation has it worse?

[galled]

Mental illness or more precisely psychology is of great interest to me. I've found that understanding the various metal states and dis-functions has helped me relate to those that baffle me. For some people facts don't matter and as an extension you don't matter.

In my experience dealing with really difficult people is very hard if not impossible, but I'd love to hear some success stories to learn some new approaches/strategies. Any insights are most welcome!

[Vivianne]

I think it is important to distinguish between a mental illness and a belief system or perception of the world that is simply different.

There was a time doctors didn’t wash their hands before seeing patients. Common sense now says washing hands is necessary, but that doesn’t mean those doctors in the past were mentally ill.

I’ve personally noticed a lot of conflict comes from differences in communication styles. A very good friend introduced me to the 10 mental distortions, and it’s super helpful to remember both you and others distort.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/ ... stortions/

[HellbentHeretic]

I definitely have a few people I've come across in my life that don't seem to understand common sense...and its never their fault no matter how much you can prove it!

Yes, there seems to be a lot of tension and stress...do you think there has been for past generations or do you think this generation has it worse?

There is that. I have met a great many like that too and it's so hard to deal with. At least, the ones that can't admit they're wrong. If you can admit wrong, I'm more reasonable.

So my perspective on that as my perspective on many things, it's super dependant on the case. Some of our current generations do have a crappy plate, in different ways from the older gens that often get overlooked. However, I feel like the newer generation has is easier and better than the old generation, especially with the fact we have been able to open up so much about things (Like LGBT and mental health awareness) were generations with like my mother and grandmother have been in such denial of such things that they both struggle accepting things about it (my grandmother more so, like accepting the fact she needs therapy or that there's no off switches for mental disorders. My mother is more even-tempered, just confused and willing to learn to understand.). But we are also this generation that's been so heavily misguided for years and disillusioned and so on; there's just a lot that has been messed up for us in the future thanks to the past. However, I also think many of the newer generations are still overly not sensitive, but reactionary with their sensitivities. That they approach it in too overly exaggerated and over the top ways instead of approaching things in an adult way that has accessed they're feeling something and talking to people in an adult manner. Will every person accept that talk/accept you/etc? No. And that's fine. You deal with that as you see fit, but more often than not the best people that truly care will try to understand you with their best intentions.

To me, nothing is black and white, especially that subject. There's a lot of things to observe from the outside looking in to really understand that some things aren't that simple plain. I believe everyone has their own personal hells in life, I have lived a life I would call both fortunate and unfortunate. And I feel like a lot of people can say something like "I am fortunate to have not have faced this hardship at all." Then again, it's all about perspective, the key to helping feed a balanced life (somewhat, depending on what is needed for the person. Everyone has their own approach, I recognize that.).

[HellbentHeretic]

Mental illness or more precisely psychology is of great interest to me. I've found that understanding the various metal states and dis-functions has helped me relate to those that baffle me. For some people facts don't matter and as an extension you don't matter.

In my experience dealing with really difficult people is very hard if not impossible, but I'd love to hear some success stories to learn some new approaches/strategies. Any insights are most welcome!

Honestly, I at first really only liked psychology because I am a person that finds learning about serial killers and cults and the such so fascinating. My mom instilled that in me, because her interest started there. Then I started meeting more people with mental disorders I knew personally that were really complicated, like my brother with schizoeffect bipolar disorder. And then it grew into I was also fascinated by it to understand myself, understand my loved ones, not to get into their head as much to be able to understand why a particular thing is happening for them and how I should react to it to not make them feel bad. Because I want my friends to feel safe around me that I am not there to spectate or judge. But that I want to be there for support and validate.

Well, I certainly have had my successes and failures. Like I said, not a professional, would never claim to be. But I've learned a lot especially of those that have to live with BPD. It's insane what they have to put up with from their brain but it's also a dangerous game if you're working with a person that is BPD that isn't in check, knowledgable/aware of the mental state, and not also seeking help from a professional. I use to be a favorite person for a person with unchecked BPD and while I extremely hate the term "BPD survivor" (because BPD hurts both the person with it and the person that's their favorite person, it's extremely hard and harsh on both, they can't help it, and you can only learn how to stop it for yourself. Both are survivors, especially if the BPD person finally wakes up to the reality they're in, their head manipulates both them and their loved ones beyond their control.), I did manage to get myself out of being a favorite person in a highly dangerous situation mentally for both of us.

[HellbentHeretic]

I think it is important to distinguish between a mental illness and a belief system or perception of the world that is simply different.

There was a time doctors didn’t wash their hands before seeing patients. Common sense now says washing hands is necessary, but that doesn’t mean those doctors in the past were mentally ill.

I’ve personally noticed a lot of conflict comes from differences in communication styles. A very good friend introduced me to the 10 mental distortions, and it’s super helpful to remember both you and others distort.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/ ... stortions/

Thank you for the link, it is important to recognize those things when your mental state is crashing or if a friend or just anyone's is to help break the cycle of abuse. My depression often abused that ability to make me constantly cycle, belittle me and make me feel undeserving. And while, yes, I still struggle with it. I think I always will, I in some ways try my best to work against my mental illness to be more positive. If not positive, just... middle of the road that I will get through what's going on.

Really, there's always been a big difference in common sense, belief systems, and mental illness. Sometimes, they can feed each other (I am naturally a pessimist with a lot of dark humor, but I don't often use it as signs of me feeling bad with my mental illnesses. I actually do the opposite when dealing with it and try to seem okay by not approaching that side of myself out loud.). Just some people reason in things wrong.

That doctor's note is just making me think about something I learned about that right now that unself-identified asexuals are being medicalized as HSDD for the identity in how they feel because they don't know it's out there (asexuals consists of 1% of the population and some people just belittle and erase the idea of the identity entirely). Being an asexual, it's scary to think people like me will still be forced to believe they're broken and need to be fixed even though they're in an entire healthy body and state over the lack of knowledge. Common sense to me says that not everyone will feel something looking at attractive people, but it doesn't mean we're unhealthy for it.

[galled]

I use to be a favorite person for a person with unchecked BPD and while I extremely hate the term "BPD survivor" (because BPD hurts both the person with it and the person that's their favorite person, it's extremely hard and harsh on both, they can't help it, and you can only learn how to stop it for yourself. Both are survivors, especially if the BPD person finally wakes up to the reality they're in, their head manipulates both them and their loved ones beyond their control.), I did manage to get myself out of being a favorite person in a highly dangerous situation mentally for both of us.

Sounds familiar. How did you manage to disengage?

[HellbentHeretic]

I use to be a favorite person for a person with unchecked BPD and while I extremely hate the term "BPD survivor" (because BPD hurts both the person with it and the person that's their favorite person, it's extremely hard and harsh on both, they can't help it, and you can only learn how to stop it for yourself. Both are survivors, especially if the BPD person finally wakes up to the reality they're in, their head manipulates both them and their loved ones beyond their control.), I did manage to get myself out of being a favorite person in a highly dangerous situation mentally for both of us.

Sounds familiar. How did you manage to disengage?

Sadly, in this case, I just had to remove myself from the picture until further notice. They need to heal some and gain healthier coping mechanisms first before I can trust them with no guard again. But I don't hate them or blame them, I know they need to work on themself just like I do too.

[galled]

I see. It's sad and in my case I have come to accept that some people may never get better enough to have a healthy relationship (even on a social interaction level) with. In some cases it goes beyond "leading a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." I think some do want to get better/straighten their heads out (at least as much as they can), but simply can't for multitudes of reasons. But I take the same stance, it's not that I don't care, but if you're taking me down with you, I can't allow that for my own sanity. It sounds reasonable, but it still seems cold perhaps?

[HellbentHeretic]

I see. It's sad and in my case I have come to accept that some people may never get better enough to have a healthy relationship (even on a social interaction level) with. In some cases it goes beyond "leading a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." I think some do want to get better/straighten their heads out (at least as much as they can), but simply can't for multitudes of reasons. But I take the same stance, it's not that I don't care, but if you're taking me down with you, I can't allow that for my own sanity. It sounds reasonable, but it still seems cold perhaps?

It is super sad, but you're completely right. You can't sacrifice your own sanity, someone else shouldn't be ruining it for you. Really shouldn't be ruining it for yourself either lol. But yeah. Some people don't want to be fixed, some do but can't be, there's a lot of reasons behind it. It's not on you if they do and don't and how they go about it. You can only support them in a way that benefits both of you guys.

[galled]

I am not the type that can completely walk away, so I make sure it's known that the door is always open. It's a fine line and quite dramatic on either side of it...

[HellbentHeretic]

I am not the type that can completely walk away, so I make sure it's known that the door is always open. It's a fine line and quite dramatic on either side of it...

I'm the same. But I also end up taking a lot of abuse because of that because letting people back in too soon. And it really is.