Lemon's drop-inn

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I'm doing my best to keep the world as normal as I can.

[npixelz]

Yeah.

My world is still the same

[Shamrock Shamus]

I worry about small businesses.


My twins' birthday is today. They're 9. They thought their birthday was cancelled. Like, the entire day, so they're happy I called them to sing and that their requested take out will be here when they get here.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

The times for wanting to celebrate with family & friends is impacted the most.

I'm glad you are able to do something special with your kids for their birthday. Are you planning on a game or movie night as well?

[Maro]

Hello everyone, just looking for a few places to chat today to keep my mind occupied for a bit, been fiddling with word quizzes on dictionary.com for a while now. I am always surprised by the number of words I can remember the definitions for.

[galled]

Happy Birthday to the twins! Must be doubly-fun!

Hey, Maro! Yes, the mind is a fantastic thing. Unfortunately, I tend to remember silly things that don't matter, but forget the important ones a lot of the time.

[Maro]

That happens to me all the time as well, galled don't feel bad.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Welcome Maro! You can chat here anytime !

I'm still working so this is my "down time" stress reducer when I get off work time!

[Maro]

Sadly I have a headache now so I am unsure how much chatting I can do, I'm drinking some water and hoping that helps.

[galled]

Hydrate! Hope you feel better!

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Maybe you can get some rest and feel better!

[Shamrock Shamus]

They had a good birthday. I tried calling their mother to see if she would call them to say happy birthday. She only replied with, "K..." But never did. She doesn't care about them and it kills me. Good thing I didn't mention that I had contacted her to them. It would have hurt them. One of my twins, I think because she just up and decided to get out of their lives, has been having an identity issue. He's half Japanese but he's been telling me things like he doesn't want to be and when I asked what they wanted for their birthday take out, he said, "something not Asian." So while his sister got Japanese food, he got a steak and pepper sub with fried pickles and onion rings. : (

[galled]

Sorry to hear about your son not being comfortable in his own skin (your twins must be beautiful!). Many times such things are brought on by bullying. (I hope that's not the root/cause.) But there's also an age/maturity time period where being different and wanting to just fit in/not stand out maybe at play too.

What's interesting is many people in the younger generations who know what manga, anime,Japanese pop culture is all about would love to be or at least be part Japanese! Maybe a trip to an anime expo or comic-con type event one day might be fun and beneficial to help re-frame things?

[Shamrock Shamus]

Hope you are feeling better today Maro.

I think part of it is his mother because this seemed to start after she just up and decided she didn't want anything to do with the twins. And then, another part, is I think he's just wanting to fit in. I'm going to be very upset if he's being bullied for being half Japanese, that wasn't his choice. Thank you! I think they're very beautiful children. : )

I don't think he'd feel comfortable at an anime convention but maybe someday, if he wanted to go, I'd bring him. We have a mixed family, I'm Irish, some of my children are part Icelandic, some are part Japanese and some are part Mexican. So I don't think his feelings aren't because he doesn't feel like he fits in the family at least.

I tried learning some Japanese to teach the kids but he didn't want any part of it.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Shamus, your son's situation breaks my heart ! And the fact that the twins Mother wants little to do with them pierces my heart, I just want to shake her into realizing the precious moments and love she is discarding...does she have such a low opinion of herself that she feels she has nothing to offer them? Or is she ashamed to have had them? Or is she that self centered-??? (You don't have to answer that, I am just trying to comprehend why a mother would do such a thing).
Who do the twins live with if not you or their mother? They are going to have to live with abandonment issues for the rest of their life but hopefully that can be offset by your love and the love of who else they live with. And I have known of cases where children of abandonment resume a relationship with the parent once they are adults and that parent can handle the situation better.

How is the other twin regarding their Japanese heritage? It may not be about being Japanese it may be an issue of distancing himself against his Mother and "Japanese" represents her. Did anyone ever ask him what his feelings are?

You just keep loving those kids! A Father's love is extremely important, in some ways that relationship is more critical in the child's development.