Blue Jay's Little Nest

[Mika]

Awww poor Jay. I wish you could move your grandmother.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

one of you may just have to see if you get power of attorney can you just move her, regardless of how she may feel about it. You may need to tell her it is for her best interest and she doesn't get a choice. Apparently her being near your Uncle isn't helping him - it doesn't make him get up to go see her by the sounds of it, doesn't make him go eat with her, so what is the reason for staying there for her? I don't know if you can convince her it is better for her to be staying somewhere else. And if your Uncle has been immobile for 2 years he won't have the strength to be living alone. How does he use the bathroom? And can you report the nursing home place to health services for not cleaning it routinely? (Or you may have to wait on that until you move your Grandma). If your Uncle is not careful I would think the State would move him somewhere else for being violent and resisting doctors instructions.

I am sorry you have had to be placed in such a no win situation.

On the bright side it's fun seeing you in green but someone today told me the color for Ireland use to be blue

[Blue Jay]

I wish I could Mika!

Well the problem is Lemon the power of Attorney she has is my sister and SHE doesn't want to move my grandmother away from my uncle. To her my uncle is the last living kid who my grandmother has. My grandmother witnessed the death of her first son some years back, her eldest daughter when my mom was a kid and now my mom almost three years ago. Her only other living son up and moved without telling anyone he was moving. We have no way to contact him and if she dies he will never know because of it. So her only family left is my uncle in the nursing home and my sister and I. She has relatives in Conneticut who want to move her out there but they haven't seen my grandmother in fifteen years and suddenly start showing up now. Then start acting like my sister and I don't do enough for my grandmother because she is in a nursing home. They had the money and the space to raise my great grandmother and my great aunt so they think we do too. DX

[Ka Lai]

... I feel like I came into this thread at a very serious time... owo;;

I hope everything works out.

[Blue Jay]

I hope it works out too.

[Mika]

Such an inconvenient situation...

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Blue Jay, So difficult when relatives come around and start insisting on things, how is your Grandma's relationship with the relatives that would bring her into their home? Did they have good care for your Great Grandma and Aunt?

It is not your Dad's responsibility to care for your Grandma, and if you or your sister are not set up to care for her in your own home then you don't have many alternatives. Can the other relatives care for your Uncle and your Grandma? Is there a way to monitor the care they would give? Would it cost less? Does she like living over there...as it sounds like they have had the family home for awhile? Is it possible you could go there and live ( a situation that it sounds like Silverfire is trying to do where the state can pay her to help care for her Grandma). Just make sure you don't get stuck in caring 24/7. You are entitled to breaks and days off regardless.

I guess what I would address is how much time exactly does your Grandma spend with your Uncle? Are they housed in the same room? Is it possible your family could take her to visit her son if you moved her somewhere else? Your Uncle must be in pretty bad shape to have so many problems and be so young. I can see why your Grandma would be concerned but how much is she really benefiting him?

Sending you happy thoughts to lighten your spirit.

[Blue Jay]

The sad part is Lemon if the family in Conneticut take her then it will be just her in a different nursing home in Conneticut for them to visit. We would never see her again and she would never see my uncle again either. We live in a different state so it's quite a travel for them to let my grandmother visit and the nursing home would never let you take out a patient overnight. So it's a lose lose situation all around for my grandmother. She sees my uncle maybe 2 or 3 times a week by going to his room. All of this would of been avoided if my uncle had gone back to the doctor after his first siezure the day my mom died like he was supposed to. However he has a fear of doctors since he believes when he was a kid the doctor sliced his hand with broken glass to draw blood out. Though that never happened because my sister and my mom were in the room with him all the time. Ugh!

[Lemon Cheesecake]

those are good points for her not to go to Connecticut then.

If you move her to another place is there a way that she can be brought over to visit your Uncle a couple times a week so she doesn't feel she is missing out? Can she go back to the place she is in if she moves out?

Your Uncle seems to be young to be in such poor health. I am assuming he never married or had children?

Your sister and you will have to have a deep heart to heart and look at things realistically.I am so sorry that you both have such difficult decisions to make.Just keep reminding each other that you love your Grandma and you ultimately want what is best for her.

[Blue Jay]

We are trying to talk my uncle into moving but he doesn't want to move at all. My grandmother refuses to move unless he does and my sister doesn't want to upset her. So no matter what I say it's all around on mute ears.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

well, at least you have had a chance to give your reasons. Sometimes it takes awhile for the idea to settle in.

[Blue Jay]

True sometimes it's all about Time. XD

[sheaheart]

BJ!! i see you again ♥

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I love your Blue colors BJ

[Blue Jay]

It's nice to see you back here Shea! *hugs*

Haha Lemon thank you! You know I will make a Blue Avie all the time! XD