by npixelz » Fri May 18, 2018 7:37 pm
True face.
Hello, you may or may not know me,
But either way, you don't know me,
You don't know my true face, you see,
You only see what I let you see.
Of everything that you know,
I'm aware of everything you know,
You only see what I've let show,
There are some things I'll never let show.
My true face, hidden behind my lies,
You won't see a trace, even if you try,
I will do my best, to keep it from view,
In the face of every test, I will keep it from you.
So I hope you don't try to find out,
I can never let you find out,
How sometimes I just want to shout,
But it is not right to begin to shout.
All this uncertainty that I feel,
Would make you turn away I feel,
So I will never show you what is real,
And I'll always pretend what you see is real.
My true face, hidden behind nice words,
Keeping pace, making me feel worse,
I feel so bad, and I know I should,
I feel sad, but I pretend I feel good.
This is a poem about me. About how I don't have it all together, even though I pretend I do. About how the me on this site is different than the me in real life. I don't have depression, or anxiety, but I have anger issues, and sometimes it feels like the fear of hurting people I care about, and the uncertainty about myself, is this great weight, this great darkness, pressing down on me, suffocating me, until I can't breathe. I don't have any thoughts about suicide, how could I? To escape from this world and cause others to suffer? To turn all the help I've gotten throughout my life into a waste of time? No. I couldn't do such a thing. So I try and hold my head high even though I don't deserve to, and to continue moving forward. But my anger issues, my uncertainty, my Autism, keeps holding me back. And that's something I don't show when I'm on here. I just act like a normal girl, with no problems whatsoever, apart from regular old problems that everybody deals with. So I decided to make a poem about that. I hope you liked it. ^^