Jessamine's Hangout

[Jessamine]

galled

@Lemon Cheesecake

I don't think its likely the site owner in Voltra will need to reach out to me again to clarify, other than just seeing me back on the site and seeing how I react to being back there. (Which is why writing a letter to be in the immediate present is so important).

This includes: how he chooses to run the site henceforth as he is more regularly online there now, what happened with my accounts. I asked about my inventory to the site owner, saying I wanted it intact, but he did not say anything about it. My friend said they wished they could see their inventory again.

I know I sacrificed a lot, quite more than usual, to ask him for me to be back.

I think he can use the search function.

Vivienne is a NPC. She is a girl who has blonde hair. In the blackout storyline, people wearing masks called Agents of Entropy, captures her. She loses her memory too.

I am sorry to hear about the real Vivienne passing.

Yeah, my friend already has a site in full functioning testing called Picco Picco, which I think is past alpha phase now, and I saw previews of what it looked like, so we can join the beta soon. My friend, very importantly, can answer me asap.

It was also very unprofessional, as soon as he me, I sent a clear email, asking him to reinstate me. And then just a lot of ignoring on his side. So my friends may want to either come back to Voltra, or more likely, just see me safely back there, as they don't want to waste more of their time in trying to contact the owner.

Well, also other than my obvious nostalgia and love of the site for being friends with people, and re-discovering my love of drawing, I panicked very badly in 2022, where my entire life was screaming at me, when my trauma of tumblr rp re-surfaced, a lot of stress and c-ptsd. I couldn't tell reality and fiction, and television characters were being really cruel to me either through the show or through other people roleplaying. They ostracized me and portrayed me to be evil and contradictorily saying I should just live life while still looking at me and saying I am a bad person, and then that attracted attention to other communities.

I got really anxious about my immediate reality, and how I coordinated my life, was that it had to make sense to me, despite pain and prejudice, as I had suffered a lot of that, before 2022 as well.

This would include me being back in my entire life (as well as just being in the moment and being friends with them), or clearly noting what went wrong with that (note I did that so carefully and thoroughly in start 2024, to understand my executive dysfunction as best I could and stay longer in my body, despite prolonged and repeated action in which within I was also trying to just breathe and talk).

Also with what I am doing right now, with able to tangibly touch in reading and understanding different communities, I can't have Voltra be the main / only focus, so that is also why I need them back. I also hang out with my sister Juliette, and I don't want to keep talking about my sadness of Voltra to her.

I have ocd, and suffered a lot in a slow drowning way, and got really high stress especially through university and after. I did very well in university and also community college after. I chose and fought to get into university, to pursue journalism and media arts production, so I identify with Sam Winchester in Supernatural.

I also in tumblr rp, before 2022, suffered a lot of ghosting and vague blogging and lots of outside drama unrelated to me in the community, and developed really bad violent schizophrenia (similar to the Basilisk in Harry Potter, where Harry hears the snake hissing in the walls).

I also suffered a lot of domestic abuse with my parents, and needed to diagnose their endless shouting (like getting a job, walking outside).

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I am sorry you have had so much issues with the social media.

I don't do social media, too much drama.

I only have done online communities where I can stay private.

I only watch shows/movies that are entertaining, allow me to learn, don't "haunt" me afterwards, so I stay away from horror or abusive shows. There is enough issues in the world, I want something uplifting.

I have a job, I feel working is important, it allows independency & the ability to purchase what I need, spend things on what I like. I like to feel responsible & in control of my life & not dependent on others.

I like to walk outside in nature, sunshine is good for the body & nature is beautiful & can be refreshing to the soul.

You should be proud of yourself for not only being disciplined to finish University & College but doing well.

Have you decided what you want to do with your degree in journalism & media production?

[galled]

The hardest part of life is accepting (there's that word again) we have very little control over anything (lack of control and loss is the ultimate lack of control). The number of things we actually do have control over is miniscule by comparison.

I've found the only way to get out of a totally bummer life is to embrace the things you do have control over--acceptance that you have no control over overwhelmingly most things is part of the "focus on the positive things" thing. It's really really REALLY hard (but not impossible!) and you'll most always get road blocks/challenges along the way, but if you keep at it (problem solve) and do things to get any missing resources you lack (which includes enlisting the help of those that love you) you can overcome and make progress. (Progress is progress and overcoming is rewarding on so many levels!)

Everyone has to make the decision (under your control!) on how you want to deal with the things you have no control over/live your life.

The coolest thing is after you get experience (wins!), the next barriers become easier/familiar (some call it experience and/or maturity). The next thing you know you'll help others who are where you were (struggling) and you can help them (that pay it forward thing). This is what makes life better for everyone~!

I hope you're having a wonderful day!

[Gingerale]

Recognizing the issues is an important component in beginning healing & restoration.

I hope you will have a positive direction to aim towards, a goal is helpful in keeping a person on track.
Not that difficulties or adversity won't come but it builds strength of character when we can overcome the issues and success at accomplishment is a wonderous feeling.

I say this because I deal with depression from frustration & I have to keep refocusing myself as to what is really important & be happy when I make decisions and progress in a positive direction.

I suggest not putting such an emphasis on what social media says, it will just mess with your head, and if you enjoy roll playing then write your own stories/books that maybe one day you can even make money from selling.

We have some creative members on Windlyn & I think there is a book club type of thread already but you could set up your own too. Just remember that it might take awhile for someone to respond so don't get discouraged, Windlyn is pretty quiet.

[Jessamine]

Today, I commented on my real life best friend's friend on a facebook comment, asking if the best friend was okay. I'm worried about them... I haven't heard from them since 2021.

We met in 2013 at a work program, and hung out and watched movies and talked a lot on skype and facebook. We watched films like Deadpool, Split, Guardians of the Galaxy. He likes watching Jacksepticeye. I introduced him to Teen Wolf, and he likes Stiles. We play League of Legends together, which he taught me how to play.

We drifted really far apart in 2018, when I asked him if he wanted to watch Black Panther film together. He said he was busy. He liked some of my facebook statuses too, and said happy birthday to me, /since/ then. In one of the status in 2021, I said I didn't have to redeem myself to anyone, and he liked the status. A little while later, some months later, he unfriended me.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Gosh, that sounds like it happened during the "covid" years and those were not very good years.

Maybe you will be able to find them again to rekindle your friendship.

I stay off face book.
Hopefully your other friend can pass on your message.

[Gingerale]

I think sometimes people get "unfriended" by accident or, my understanding is maybe they don't want someone on your friend list having access to their social media. Not sure how all that works but I would not take it too personally - unless of course you know you did something inappropriate or hurtful & maybe that could be why?

I find the best way to try to resolve issues is to ask if you offended someone & ask how you can correct the issue/mistake.

True friends will always come back around, and if not, maybe they weren't really a friend like a friend should be.

I wish you all the best on figuring it out & I hope that you are making new friends in the meantime. Sometimes it is time to move on & not be stuck in the past. That is my personal opinion.

[Jessamine]

I have done an internship in journalism with my degree, where I went to my local newspaper place, a real workplace outside university. It was fun writing stories and hanging out with my colleagues and going on field trips.

I have applied for journalism and media arts jobs, which no-one responded to me. I have also applied for bookstore and library jobs.

I work in my parent's retail store currently. There were two shopping centre locations, which I went to the first one a lot in 2023, and it was so claustrophobic and no nice food to eat for lunch. So in 2024, I put my foot forward in saying I wanted the bigger location to work in -- been working there since.

What shows and movies do you like?

My best friend did not unfriend me by accident. He was in another mental health program with the other friend later on. I think he disappeared from facebook, because I was experiencing very strong emotion, and we had a friendship that could hurt my life. Yet we had a good time together. I also talked about my roleplay issues, which he listened. I talked about some of my friends and life online, as we were hanging out for movies and lunch. The other friend said he had not heard from the friend in years, he replying to my comment. That would only be true since either the last year, or the year before -- they slowly drifting apart, stopped playing games like Overwatch together, and calling each other.

Since I last saw the best friend on facebook, he was hanging with the friends in the other health program, and painting, which I liked some of his posts.

I had a strong feeling in 2022 and 2023, I had imagined they had been sitting and hanging out with each other, being scared for me, and looking at their phones.

Yesterday, I applied for the assistant administrator position for Voltra on my phone, and remembering to click submit after it saying a personalised thank you. This could represent me being inside any community I love, and that I am a good person and that I have power and to be aware of myself and the community and my stuffed dog who sits next to me on the chair, who looks at the technology computer / phone screen and then to me. I did this when going to sleep on my bed on my phone, after a nice family outing which we went to a restaurant. I talked more to my older sister, and she was concerned for me. I just started typing my passion on my phone on a whim.

I also noticed what happened a little, after my last post about Voltra / general life, in what other sites' mods were talking in the front page.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Good you have your Parents business to fall back on. Getting a job in the field you would like sometimes seems impossible but keep trying.

I guess I have been pretty fortunate in my friendships, which makes me more thankful when I hear of the struggles some people have.

I am glad you have an older Sister to talk to, it is nice when an older Sister watches out for a younger Sister.

It is a comforting feeling to be able to spend quality time with family, it sounds like you appreciate those moments.