Monkey's Magical Treehouse of Awesomeness

[Lemon Cheesecake]

and the antique book store was like finding treasure! Plus I lived near a place that allowed you to purchase used books and sell them back so it was a win situtation

[dragoness129]

There are a few places here that let you buy the books with half cash and half store credit that you get from trading in used books. It does not sound as good as straight trading a book for a book.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

well, that was before now I don't know what they do because used book stores seem hard to come by. However, I have seen books at thrift stores too...but generally the library has had a good selection

[dragoness129]

Yeah, there have been a lot of used book stores around here that have closed down. I like going to thrift stores too. There are still some books I am waiting for the library to get, further books in some of the series I had checked out from there.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I found getting on the waiting list for the new books made it easier to get them when they came available in the library

[dragoness129]

Yep, I have them on my wish list. Though I think there are some that I just can't find.

[Watery Star]

Currently on the waiting list to get a digital copy of Terry Pratchett's Mort. Seems to take several weeks before a book is ready for me.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

ya, that is a problem for new items at the library - the waiting list can be long

[Watery Star]

New or popular.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

new usually means popular I found

[Watery Star]

I was thinking about older books that still maintain their popularity.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

hmm I haven't had so much of a problem in the past with older books but we have 5 libraries that the books travel between so maybe thats why?

[MonkeyGirl18]

I just want to rant about something....

[+] SPOILER

So, my dad is listening to every other thing I say because, even when I express how much I want to live off campus in an apartment, he keeps going "If you want to live on campus next year, blah blah blah..." When I tell him that I DON'T want to live on campus next year, especially now that we have to pay $200 for a stupid dorm room because my university is making some stupid decisions with tearing down so many dorms. They're tearing down a 4th one during the summer. I'm so sick and tired of living at home with my parents. I hate how I keep getting told what to do and I'm 21 years old and my dad says it's because I live in his house. Like, shit, he's almost kicked me out before. Why is he being stingy and not listening to me when I say I want to move out and into an apartment? I will find a job. Heck, I can stay in the food court I'm in until I find a better one (one where I can work over school breaks). I can find a roommate, I just haven't done any of that because I'm afraid of having to tell the potential roommate "I'm sorry, I was planning on moving into an apartment but I can't and I have to live on campus" and waste their damn time. My sister is planning on living on campus for one more year, but I lived on campus 2 years now, I don't want to live on campus any more, the pre-payment of $200 is stupid and, fuck, I don't want to be living on campus because when I have to leave my dorm for a break, I have to go to my parents house and I don't want that. I love my parents and all, but I'm 21, I NEED to move out. I WANT to move out, but Idk if my dad is going to listen to me about it being one who almost kicked me out and wants me to move out, he's being stubborn at letting me move out.

I want to talk to him again, but I'm afraid to, I'm afraid he's going to not listen to me, I'm afraid he's going to get mad at me. Last time I did, he went on a tangent about me bringing my gpa up (which isn't helping me, it's just making me more stressed out and he thinks that I don't know what stress is which is bs) and how I need to bring it up if I want to live on campus. Shit, it's things like this that makes me not want to listen to him. He complains about me not listening to him when he's not listening to me. He never told me, "I don't want you moving out yet because of (whatever reason). I want you to stay on campus for another year." Instead, he asks me what my plans are if whatever happens, asks me how I'm going to pay for it (I keep telling him I'm going to get a fucking job over the summer, like, shit, I have one now, this job experience would make it more easier to find a job) and told him that I want to move out sometime before school starts up the next year. Shit, I don't have $800 saved up for nothing. Shit, that's going for an apartment. My sis, unless she's changed her mind, told me she wants to find an on-campus job next year so that she has more time (because on-campus jobs aren't as time consuming as off-campus jobs for obvious reasons) and there I can take the van that we've been sharing. My sister has a lot more money saved, she's aiming for a car then an apartment I believe, but she's already found people to be her roommate for an apartment. I haven't yet because if I do, it's probably with someone who's NOT going to live on campus next year and wants someone who isn't going to back out and live on campus another year and to have to find a new roommate. I didn't do any of that because my dad is still on me because he thinks that I want to live on campus or he wants me to but never tells me why. I also never paid the $200 because I don't want to do all of that and then "Hey, I got into an apartment!" because I doubt it's going to be refunded if I live off-campus.

I'm just so frustrated with my dad right now not listening to me. If he doesn't think me living off campus is a good idea right now, he needs to fucking tell me and tell me why!

//endrant

Sorry, at least I put it in spoilers, but I still, it's long and sorry for the language that I used.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

As much as we all would like a place of our own unfortunately it is not always feasible. Logically present your case:

A) put the costs of an apartment versus living on campus costs down on paper, so that you will have something visual to go over when you talk to your parents and they will see that you have seriously looked into it (versus just talking and wishful thinking).

costs include: RENT/damage deposit/Food/utilities/transportation you will use and costs/travel time to school & work/ cost of parking at campus if you have a car and cost of car insurance/internet cost(or free)/renters insurance for an apartment/

[+] SPOILER

Include how much you make and the total of living and school expenses and how much they pay for your education.
Are you wanting to get a school loan to cover your costs? ( incorporate that into your monthly costs for the repayments for future expenses when considering living on your own)

-have you gone to LOOK at apartments at all to see what is available and what condition they are in and how much they cost? You should if you haven't, it can be an eye opener.Plus just tell them you are looking to rent.

[+] SPOILER

Around here a one bedroom apartment nearer the campus (which means sharing your room so having no private space either) is AT LEAST $1000 plus a month.Plus you need a down payment of half your rent for damages. Sometimes they want a whole months rent.
Houses rent from $2300/month up. But you often have to pay for the utility bills (water/gas/electricity/trash which adds another couple hundred a month

B. Why don't you and your sister rent together and just stay at your jobs and near the campus year round? Then your parents are only paying out once for both of you? You both could offer to pay for your rent during the summer months.

[+] SPOILER

Have you asked your parents how much they pay out for you and your sisters college expenses? (Tuition and boarding and food and books). Do you know how much your parents make and how much THEIR living expenses are? Is the schooling costs a financial burden for them?
<that's why many parents with multiple kids going to school will BUY a house and let their kids live in it with roommates while going to school and then sell or rent it out after they are done>

Will your parents be willing to give you the money they would apply to your dorm costs?
How much longer before you finish University? If living off campus is more money then maybe just hang with it a little longer?

C. Do you plan on saving any money up?
$800 may sound like a lot to you but when you are paying out room and board it is not and you go through it quite quickly.Add a car payment and you are just surviving.


D.If you are looking to live off campus just tell potential room mates "I'm looking for a place but it depends on approval from my Dad since he is paying for the rent. If he is not paying then really you are the one who decides.
However, If your parents have to co-sign for your rental lease (which often is the case for first time renters and students) then they are ultimately responsible as well so they still hold the purse strings.

[+] SPOILER

> Your best bet would be to try and find someone who already has a place and is looking for a room mate. Then you are usually just paying rent. BUT their rules apply since they are the one responsible. So, if they don't like that you are messy or loud etc up late or too early then they could ask you to leave.

Monkeygirl, I think your parents don't want to see you struggling and worry about your safety. Plus they are probably trying to reduce the financial burden that University can be. I am assuming by having your sister and you live in dorms it may allow them to let you live independently and not costs them as much as paying for both of you to live off campus separately? (Again, do the math and add both your and her costs). As you know working and school CAN BE stressful and they probably want you to focus on school first and get it done. If it drags on it costs that much more.

[+] SPOILER

Around here dorms cost about $7,500 per school year for a shared room of up to 4 people plus food is about $1100/per school year, rent is more if you want one of the school apartments. A deposit for dorms is about $2200 with $1000 non refundable should you back out.(Just to give you something of comparison for a state college. There are other state colleges that cost much more for dorms

**The advantage of OFF CAMPUS living is that you can live in it YEAR round - so if you have employment you can work year round. When there are breaks you could be making money instead of just doing nothing.Plus it gives a rental history for you and shows you can be financially responsible by paying rent checks on time etc.

Good luck with making your case!



-

[galled]

The biggest thing about living on your own is this now becomes a business transaction with real financial consequences. When you deal with a lease, there are no do-overs or forgiveness. I'd suspect that one of your parents will have to co-sign (but not always). Even though you have held a job, most renters/landlords don't like to take chances on people without a sizable employment track record.

As Lemon said, the only way to do this is to lay it all out like you were going to a bank to get a loan. You have to cover all of the bases with a solid plan. Once you have that and there's still resistance, you may have to wait until you're financially independent. If you're asking your dad to take a chance on you, that's really up to him and you can't be angry with him if he doesn't go along. He may be your dad, but he's entitled to do as he sees fit just like everyone else.

Good luck!