I'm just done with everything today.
Just done.
All I ever want is to be left alone and to find an apartment me and a friend of mine can move into (with her cat).
I just want the freedom to do things without asking my parents permission (because I still have to tell my parents what I'm doing at 22 fucking years old.) and not feel as if I'm being watched 24/7.
I would leave if I could, I just have to wait for the right time and learn how to fucking apartment hunt.
I'm just so stressed out, I'm surprised I haven't had any sort of mental break down.... unless that's already happening or something.
Go to work, battle through my anxiety as shitty customers yell at me for not greeting them within half a second just to come home and be expected to be the most perfect person on the face of the fucking earth. To be treated as if I can't forget things as if I can't just fall asleep unintentionally and if I fall asleep, it's me getting into bed consciously and fully knowing that I have things to do. To find the next day they never back off from it to then treat me like a fucking child.
I'm 22 fucking years old. Let me do my own fucking thing. I want to have my own sense of independence living where I'm at right now.
Oh, and then when I say these things to my dad, he be like "Do you act like this when your boss questions you?"
LIke, of course not. My boss treats me like an actual human being who makes fucking mistakes. He fucking tells me all the time how he likes how I've been working, how I actually get things done with and all that shit. He never talked down to me. Not once.
Maybe I'm overexaggerating, but that's what it feels like. There's a lot of fucking weight on my shoulders and I can't bear it.
If there's anything I need, it's some kind of mental health help and I've told my mom about it, but I'm too scared to tell my dad and I just need it. I just want to do anything that would benefit me and stop all my panicking and shit.
I'm tired and just.... done.