Lemon's drop-inn

[Watery Star]

Oh jeez. How do the talks go with your father? Does he act defensive?

[JinMay]

In a way...yeah?
I'm the oldest daughter he has and I'm also the one with serious heart health issues.
So he's very over protective of me.
My dad will sit down with the guy and start pretty much telling him what he expects from him and how he wants me to be treated. He even asks them what they do, if they finished school, how old they are, all that sort of stuff.
I know he means well and I love that he does this stuff but I just worry that anyone I bring will think it's weird.
I'm a huge family person so if people don't like what my family believes in, that's usually a deal breaker for me cause I'll be defending my family always. If we can agree to disagree that's good too but some people just like to one up you or have the last word. It's annoying.

[Watery Star]

I can understand his concern but it must be nerve-wrecking for your male friends.
Hm, I don't think it's weird but I can put a lot of pressure onto someone. As much as I dread introducing the guy I'm dating to my parents, I do want it to happen. I want to see how they get along and get my parent's opinion.

[JinMay]

-nods- Which is why I don't have any male friends.
I don't even have friends. I have one but I don't see her so often anymore sadly.
I do have one guy friend all the way in Pennsylvania. The thought of him someday coming over to meet me is both wonderful and dreadful.
I just don't want my fam to assume it's serious because while I wish it was, I don't think it would work out.
Heheh yeah family opinions are very important to me.

[Watery Star]

aw *hugs*
It does sound like it would be somewhat serious if he does visit. But at the same time, it would be the first time you two would be meeting face to face. Friends can also travel to visit another friend too.

[JinMay]

-hugs-
Exactly! I feel like a lot of people don't realize that friends visit each other when they can. It doesn't mean anything, they're just friends.

He and I both have a crush on each other, so part of me is kinda hopeful...but because of past relationships, I don't want to be too hopeful either. The chances of us actually being a thing are very slim I think.

[Watery Star]

I think it's wise of you to not get your hopes up. It's very true that not all relationships work out.
When my boyfriend from Texas moved in with me our romantic relationship is very short lived. We were still friends and we went to an anime convention together (as friends) and had fun but it didn't work out between us.

If you both work at it to try to make things work there's a better chance of things working out between you two. I think meeting in person and hanging out in person will give a good indicator of how well it could work.

[mdom]

Yeah, meeting in person is something quite different.
I know people who got married |D and some who... well, didn't.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

JinMay, sounds like your Dad is acting like a Dad should! Good for him - but not so good for the poor guy getting the third degree! Because you are the oldest your parents are in that place of unknowns and have to figure it out and you are the guinea pig so to speak.

I thought you had met and seen each other face to face before? Well, spending time doing things together is always important and seeing how it goes and not rushing it is a good thing.

[JinMay]

Star - Yeah I've been let down three times before so my walls are way up now. I just don't want to be lied to again.
mdom - I agree, meeting people is way different. Scary but at the same time exciting.
Lemon - Heheh yeah I get what you mean. I know they mean well and it makes me happy that my dad cares that much. I just hope that whoever I end up introducing to them in the future, doesn't get freaked out by my parents' customs and beliefs as well as my own. I'm a super traditional girl. Like...totally.

We've seen each other over skype calls but that's about it.

[galled]

I would say that if your dad scares anyone away (assuming your dad isn't psychotic), they're not the right person.

Being lied to is a deal breaker. You can't have a good relationship with someone you can't trust.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Nothing wrong with slow and steady...if you are going to spend the rest of your life together then it is better to know what you are getting into. I stayed friends with the guys I've dated because most of all they were friends first. You have to have the same belief structure and values with whoever you marry or it will be difficult later and really, you want to be on the "same page".

Time for you to go make some new friends - don't be shy! They are probably looking for friends too! Co-workers, people from school or church or other activities you do...older siblings of your siblings friends...

[Watery Star]

There's a site called Meetups where you can look for activities in your area to join.

[mdom]

New people, ewww

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I just saw a show on NHK about how Japan was doing meet ups where young people got together to meet other people their age and make friends doing activities and such.