~ Watery's Pond ~ Here's to a happier New Year!

[Watery Star]

Sorry for long post.

He did say Cheesecake Factory but I wrongly assumed that any old cheesecake would be good enough. I talked to my mom about it cause we don't even have that restaurant out here. Told her our grocery store had cheesecake and asked if I should have Eagle pick it up. All she said was ok, so I took that as, yeah I should.But really, she meant something more like "ok I can pick it up for you." She's sick so I guess she wasn't thinking clearly enough to convey that. I should have just told my brother we didn't have one out here but I felt funny. I did mention that we are tight because of paying for a new furnace and all. He didn't clearly communicate that I didn't have to worry about it.

It's not really an issue about going over there, it's that he hasn't been spending Thanksgiving with us. I also doubt he'd come over here because he seems to be avoiding visiting. The past two Thanksgivings he's been at church when my family typically celebrates it. This year my mom tried to get together with him for a low-key Thanksgiving on the day, so she could see them. They spent it with friends instead. It irritates me that he acts that way. We have to do what's convenient for him but he wont try to make things work around what's convenient for us. I didn't mind going there but when Eagle said he was only dropping me off it bothers me. He doesn't want to get into a fight with my brother especially at his place.

Eagle's dad moved to Deleware, not sure if he's nearby celebrating at his girlfriend's house or not. We're not on good terms with his mother. I'm not feeling well and my parent's both have a cough so I'm staying home today.

I'd really like to be able to spend Christmas with my family and Eagle. There was a Christmas where my brother and sister-in-law were in Ecuador so it was just my parent's and Eagle. I was a little hurt that year that I didn't get to spend time with him but maybe it's for the best that he's there with her family on Christmas than here. This year they leave a couple days after Christmas for Ecuador.
No kids. My SIL is very similar to my brother. I've tried to be friendly with her but it's tough when Eagle and them don't get along, and well when my brother makes it hard for me to get along with him too.

[Gingerale]

Sometimes you have to just plan things for other days other then the actual holiday, it's more about getting together, but it sounds like you are having problems in both departments with your brother - I am so sorry.
Ya, not all cheesecake tastes the same and honestly not everyone likes cheesecake. But by sounds of it, if your parents have been sick you probably don't want to risk getting a virus yourself.

Hope you are making your own little merry!

[Watery Star]

I typed up a message yesterday but I guess I got tired and forgot to send it! >.<

That's what my parents and Eagle and I do for Thanksgiving because even when my mother has the day off she's usually too tired.
I tried the cheesecake Eagle bought because it probably wont be good for that long and it's really good! Eagle got it even though he doesn't like cheesecake because that's what was asked.
Yeah there's not much point getting together when we're not feeling well. I'll visit my parents when we're better. My brother said he's leaving my presents with my parents and I'll probably have to leave his with them too when I see them.

Hope you had a Merry Christmas!

[Watery Star]

ugh, I really don't want to be negative but I need to vent.

My brother has been texting me today. Thought we could patch things up but he just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand how rude and mean he comes off. He keeps telling me he doesn't want to be mean but then does nothing to change the way he phrases things. I don't know if he is this way with everyone or if he doesn't think he needs to with his family but I can't stand it. Telling me over and over again that I'm sensitive when he reacted poorly. And it turns out that HE was the one that wanted freshly baked cheesecake. That he wanted freshly made food for Christmas dinner. Also forgetting that he didn't suggest it but asked for it. There's a difference. He doesn't understand this nuance.

I don't see how things can be mended if he isn't wiling to change his attitude and the way he treats me. I rarely talk to him or even see him as it is, so at least I wont have to worry about this much. I could even be civil for the holidays next year except it complicated with each of us having a significant other. Don't see how Christmas is going to go next year but at least it's a year away.

Sorry again. This is mostly to get off my chest as I can't even really share all this with Eagle because he gets upset.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

It helps to vent sometimes to get things in perspective yourself.

It sounds like it is more then just the cheesecake issue. He is probably more pragmatic and you are more empathetic so he probably doesn't get how he is sounding.
Maybe next year get together at a restaurant for a Christmas eve brunch and let your brother know you are starting your own traditions at your own home for Christmas dinner. It won't be the home made dinner he seems to be wanting but everyone can get what they want and there should be no arguing out in public, you can visit for a couple hours and then go home. Invite your parents at another time if they don't want to go to your house Christmas day. Christmas celebrations don't have to actually be on Christmas day. It's about spending some of the holiday's together. Then maybe Eagle will actually come if it is in a neutral environment and he knows he doesn't have to stay if things get tense. You can work out a secret code "oh no, I think I forgot to leave the dog water", or something if he really wants to leave.

[Of the Stars]

For now I'm not going to worry about it. I probably wont see him for a year.

I made plans to visit my parent's in 2 weeks and hopefully be able to see a couple of friends too.

[Gingerale]

that sounds like it will be nice!

[Watery Star]

It should be ^_^

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Any special plans for New Year's day today?

[Watery Star]

Nope, no plans.
Eagle did uber/lift after midnight.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Were you able to make a nice dinner for the two of you before he went to work?

[npixelz]

Sorry to bring up the subject again, but I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel, my brother had anger issues and it was the same thing, he wouldn't change his attitude, he said he would get help but then he wouldn't. He ended up leaving and we haven't had contact with him since. So I know how you feel to some extent, the situations are different but they both have similar themes and problems. Anyway, I want you to know that you can always vent to us, we are a close community, and we are your friends, we will always try and support you through any rough patches you may go through.

Also, who is Eagle, that sounds like a really cool name.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

The freezing cold weather on the East coast of the US looks horrendous! Hope everyone is staying indoors if they can.

[npixelz]

It's quite cold over here in Canada too, but I always stay indoors, so no real change to my daily life.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I was reading an article online news about how to melt ice without rock salt and one suggestion was keeping a solution of dish soap, hot water and rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle for your car windows and another was to put kitty litter tied in a sock on your dash board so your window won't fog up. If any of you who live int he cold try it out and it works, let me know!