AliCat's Alley Way

[npixelz]

Orange chicken? What's that?

[NerdyAliCat]

npixelz Good song!
This is personally one of my favourites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wgm7eDdJ0i0

[npixelz]

Ooh, that's pretty cool! ^^

[NerdyAliCat]

I don't wish to damped anyone's mood but i wrote what happened to me today in the spoiler below if interested as to why i'm in a terrible mood.
It's long and quite a hefty vent but i needed to post it somewhere.

[+] SPOILER

Now i hate crying in front of my friends. They aren't the kinds of people to show emotions easily and so i hate showing mine in front of them because i seem weak and attention seeking.
But i totally failed my math test. In this test was all of the things that we'd need to know to pass our exams soon and i scored a miserable 10/49 for the mental part and a 3/23 on the calculator allowed.
In my class of around 30 students only 6 passed this test.
I was clearly not one of them.
Why? Because the people in my class are so loud and annoying that i can't concentrate with them near me.
I have anxiety talking to people that i'm not comfortable around and i don't like asking teachers questions.
And the severe lack of sleep that i've been having lately hasn't really helped my concentration.
And in my mind these things aren't just a quick fix for me. I used to be good at math until i met my good friends stress and anxiety.
So. I walked my way down to the area where i sit with my friends. I sat down and said that if anyone talks to me about either the math or science tests that all of us have had to do this week then i'd leave.
Then i said that only 6 people in my class passed. Then i said that the teacher basically said: 'Screw you guys. This stuff will be in your exam so work it out for yourself.'
Then i burst out crying.
I was a miserable sobbing mess of hair and snot. And i hated for my friends to see me like that.
The sudden realization that they'd all gone quiet and were probably watching me made me go into a panic attack and i couldn't leave because i was to scared they'd see the string of snot pouring out of my nose.
Sexy i know right?
Luckily, i have some amazing friends that i really don't deserve that just patted me and stroked my hair until my breathing slowed down a little. Despite pushing them away and yelling at them to leave they still stayed by my side until i was calm.
They had their maths test next and I didn't want them to be late for me but they were so nice to me.
One of my newer friends that had just joined the school this year quickly clued on to what was happening and helped me to calm down despite not knowing about my anxiety.
A friend that suffers similar things to me just hugged me and touched my hair.
My two best friends were right next to me and reassured me.
Even though a different class (That only had 9 people pass their test) get the opportunity to have some extra revision and re-sit the test. I'm not that lucky and i'm too scared to ask my teacher for another try since it's against the rules for me to do so.
But straight after i was all shaken up and crying. I had to go do my science test.

I'm typing this after i sat the science test. And i've accepted my fate.
There's no way i passed that.

[Gingerale]

If only 6 out of 30 passed then I would say it is a problem with the Teacher and should be brought up to the Principal and then the School Board by the parents of the students. The Principal should be able to look at past classes and years to see the average of students not passing. Can you get a tutor for the math test coming up in the meantime? You need to speak up for yourself but sometimes parents have to come in and demand a better learning environment for the Children and you need to let them know when you are struggling.

I am glad you have understanding friends though, that must bring comfort, don't worry about letting them see you upset because maybe they will feel free to open up to you.

I am so sorry you had to go to another test when you were emotionally upset and not able to concentrate that sucks. Maybe talk to your Science Teacher and ask for a rewrite?

sending you hugs

[npixelz]

Oh dear, that's so sad. I hate crying, but sometimes it's good to let it out.
I have this problem where I sort of bury my stress underneath the surface until I can't take it no more and I snap. The way I describe it is; the stress is droplets of water, and my brain is a glass, if I keep filling the glass with water, then at some point, it's going to overflow, make a mess, and upset a lot of people, including myself. So, because I bury it like that, I don't cry as easily, but I actually envy the people who can cry easily, because they let out their stress in a more healthy way. So when you cry, don't think it makes you weak, because it's actually a healthy thing to do. Remember this; everybody hurts, and everybody cries. Even if they don't cry as often, they still do it. Please know that you're a wonderful person, and I'm sure you deserve your friends, and I'm sure they know how wonderful you are. And don't worry about ruining the mood, I like to think that we are friends, and friends are people who can have fun with you at your best, and help and accept you at your worst. So anytime you feel like venting, just talk to us, we're here for you and we'll do everything we can to make you feel better. And please remember, even if you're sad right now, it won't always be like this, it will get better. There will always be times where you're upset, but there will also always be times where you're happy. So try to focus and the happy times, and not let the sad times get you down. In a manga/anime I read/watched, there is this quote; "A; what does snow become when it melts? B; it becomes water. A; no, it becomes spring!" And then, following that quote; "no matter how cold it is now, spring will come, without fail." Those words touch my heart, because they are about the fact that things will get better, without fail. And I try to live by that. You like Jacksepticeye, right? Well, his newest slogan is Positive Mental Attitude. And I know it might be hard to think that way, but you've got to try. Look at me, I've had really bad anger issues for a long time, and it turns out it was post traumatic stress disorder from when my brother used to get super mad and violent, and then eventually left, and we never heard from again. I got help over the years, and recently, I received some really good help, and I'm finally at a place where I'm happy with my emotional control. I still get angry sometimes, but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I've gotten this far because of the people who supported me. I'll forever be grateful to all those who helped me, and that includes everyone on this site. From what I've read, you've got friends who support you, so I'm sure you can come out of this on top. Please have faith, and please feel better, ok?

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I hope today was a better day for you AliCat! Any chances that the Teacher was just giving you all a scare so you would study for the up coming test?

[+] SPOILER

(If your nose gets running and you don't have a tissue, put your head down and rub it on your knee's...or pin a tissue under your skirt or leg of your pants on the days you thin might be tough, just in case).

It's not the end of the world, even though it may seem like it. Some people go back and take their GED or high school equivalency later. Better to save yourself the time (and money) to get it now and put it behind you but there are other options. My Mom had to go back and get hers and then she did very well as a business woman later.

[npixelz]

Yeah, I myself almost failed several subjects, and did fail at least one of them. And yet I now have a good paying job.

[NerdyAliCat]

Thank you guys!
You always help me to cheer up

Sorry for the late reply.. i just needed some time to clear my head a little.

I did get one good thing out of it though... Togepi egg!

Typing stuff out helps me to relax a little and you're all so damn supportive! So thanks for letting me rant.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

We are here for you! Glad you can get things into perspective. Incidents in life can be overbearing sometimes.

[npixelz]

No problem. As I said, I like to think we are friends, and this is what friends are for!

It's alright, take all the time you need.

Yeah, I noticed. Lucky!

I know what you mean, typing it, or saying it is cathartic.



Today I was really tired and stressed, and I was disappointed in myself, but reading your post, and remembering how I did my best to help and make you feel better really helped make me feel better. So in a way, you helped me. ^^

[Lemon Cheesecake]

There is often "silver lining" so let's hope you can find one AliCat.

[npixelz]

Yeah, it can only get better.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Don't panic when you get your test results, take it as an opportunity to see what area's you can improve on, figure out what the answers should have been and learn from there. When do you take your finals?

[npixelz]

Man, such good advice, the only advice I could give right now would just be repeating what's already been said... So I'll just say; don't be too down about it, and good luck!