~ Watery's Pond ~ Here's to a happier New Year!

[Watery Star]

I haven't seen that one. I saw a random movie one night about a couple that got abandoned in the middle of the ocean with only scuba gear on. It freaked me out and messed with my head.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I can't do those survival movies...they make me obsess on what I would do in those situations and then I have crazy dreams.

[Watery Star]

Yeah there are times I can't watch them either.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I should rephrase that...I can watch some just not the ones where they are runnign away from evil beings and it is a hopeless situation.

[Watery Star]

Ah. I feel that way with horror movies.

Roommate took out our sheets that were in the dryer so he could continue doing his laundry. I got pissed when I found them on top of the dryer. It's not a clean place to put them at all. And it's plain rude to move someone else's laundry. This guy acts all clueless. We took him in because he's friends with one of my close friends. It's not bad like the squatter situation but it hasn't been that great.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

ugh...you might have to do a schedule so he knows when it is ok for him to use the laundry room and also suggest,since it is difficult for you to get around, that could he please let you know the laundry is done or put it in a clean laundry basket for you...I have a laundry basket for dirty laundry and a basket for clean ( if they are two different colors it also makes it easier).

[Watery Star]

We have baskets but it was left upstairs. Eagle has a schedule but I can't because I can only do it when able.

I have told him again and again to please talk to us before making decisions for himself that will affect us too. And he repeatedly will say that he likes to do things when we're not up so he doesn't get in our way. But he misses the point that then we're not around to ask about certain things. And so he proceeds to do whatever suits him. Acts clueless when he does things that inconvenience me.

And again today. I see a package of toilet paper on the towel shelf. We already have a spot for toilet paper.Having extra isn't a bad idea but like why there? ugh. Made me feel bad for not putting the towels away because then there wouldn't be space the toilet paper. I know I shouldn't and then got frustrated cause I haven't been well but have done some small things.

It's been 5 weeks since he walked out of work. I'm not sure how much longer to let him stay. How much longer to give him to find a job. Then how much longer to let him stay once he's working( and paying rent). I kind of just want to give him notice to leave now but that seems mean.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I think 5 weeks is pretty long to have let him try to get back on his feet. Eagle and you need to sit down over some coffee or something and ask him how the job search is going and ask him where he has applied.

Is he on unemployment insurance? They generally require him to be actively working. Why did he walk out on work? Is that going to keep him from getting hired? Maybe he can look into doing a trade school or apprentice, some of those pay while they train you.

Next time you take someone in, tell them they have a couple weeks and then need to start paying rent.

Figure out ahead of time, next time, how long you will let them stay/rent so they know up front.

[Watery Star]

We only took him in because because a close friend asked me. We didn't want anyone else staying here. I found it hard saying no to a friend, even though she's didn't ask to stay here herself. After this I now know that it's too much for me to handle dealing with someone else. And both times it was people who were broke, not from this area and needed jobs. Can't and wont do this again. It's too much when I'm home all the time and disabled.

He's been here since the week of Thanksgiving. He's given us some money but not the amount we agreed on because he didn't receive his first paycheck until after he walked out of the job and didn't earn enough to cover it. He walked out because he said they were serving expired food. I have no idea if any managers were on duty, he just said no one there cared. He says he reported them for health code violation but didn't contact any higher ups or do anything to try to retain his job. Basically thought it was gross and left. I've asked how things were going, a couple times this month. I think it was last week when he apologized for still being unemployed, that he hadn't gone this long without a job. It makes me feel like he thought he could easily get another job or something. When I thought about how, in a different situation and in most situations, he wouldn't be able to continue living in the same residence as long as he has with us being behind in rent. He hasn't been able to pay one month in rent. I wonder if he'd still walk out if he was facing eviction if he did so.

Eagle talked to me recently about how I was continuing to let him stay here even though it's stressing me out. I have a day in mind I was going to give him notice to leave. I've been less stressed since I decided a date to give notice. It has made me think about the situation less but I do still get annoyed when seeing or hearing something that bothers me. I've just been keeping in mind that he wont be here much longer. Maybe I've been too lenient. After the talk with Eagle and now after reading your post I'm wondering now if I should give him notice to leave now. Although I should double check how much notice I need to legally give him.
During the laundry incident, I was so mad that I did warn him to look for another place to stay. He said he had already started looking. He's broke though so I don't know where or what he's going to do. But we've let him stay here long enough and hasn't really done anything to make us want him to stay.
Ugh it is tough when it's been snowing and there's currently snow on the ground but maybe tonight we should have the talk.

Oh yeah didn't say how self-righteous he is when he's talked about walking out of that job. I have a feeling he'd tell prospective employers the same thing he told me, Eagle and my parents of why he quit. Says it like it's totally justified. It's tough because it doesn't sound like a place I'd want to work at if it is as gross as he makes it sound. However, at the same time, walking out like that was so impulsive and he hasn't shown that he thought about the consequences.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

He should have taken photot's and tried to discuss it with a manager. If they didn't try to correct it then he was right to report it. He could probably get unemployment insurance if he can prove he left because of an unsafe work environment. If he got OSHA involved the business could pay hefty fines and possibly have to be shut down.

It is a difficult position to be in...trying to help someone get back on their feet but at the same time feel like they aren't doing enough to get new work etc.

[Watery Star]

Yeah he didn't really follow through with it. I'm sure he would of said something if he was on unemployment. Well more so my friend would of at least told me if he was.

We weren't asking for much so he could put more of it towards going elsewhere. Lowered a bit more if he helped around the house but he doesn't really. Has to be asked each time, instead of just doing things each week. One time saying he knew the house needed to be swept but he was too depressed. . . With job hunting he last told him that most of it can be done online so he doesn't have to leave the house. But then it's harder to gauge if he's doing anything.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

It's tough when you want to help people out but they don't do much to help themselves out or at least even make it like they aren't intruding by cleaning up after themselves and trying to be as helpful as possible. You have a good heart Watery Star!

On another note...love your avatar! I put it on my fashion show thread!

[Watery Star]

Thank you.

I feel so defeated right now. The kitchen is a mess. I came down to get leftovers and intended on going back upstairs to rest but ended up doing what I could to clean and tidy it up. I've lost my appetite. It's so frustrating, if just a little more time were put into the kitchen it would be manageable.
But they don't care. They can live with the mess even though it makes things harder.
I looks decent now but I shouldn't of cleaned just now. But I did it because I didn't know when I would be able to get to it.

Eagle and I have had a talk about things recently. It's so exhausting trying to explain how I need help.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Are there any support groups in your area that have information or contacts that you can use to get help for your disability? I can hear the frustration in your posts! Church volunteer groups can also be a good contact source for help.

Take a picture of the rooms clean and tell who ever uses the rooms ( bathroom, kitchen. laundry room etc) that that is how you want it to look when it is done...then there is no question of them not understanding!! (I wonder if it would work...sometimes men work better with visual...).

[Watery Star]

I talked to my friend who is also friend's with my roommate and she asked him to help with the kitchen. The stove has been cleaned which is nice. He has helped but it's having to ask each time instead of it being a weekly routine or something.

I'm not sure where to turn to.