Dodecahedron - Hangout

[galled]

Glad you're OK, NCR! Thanks for letting us know how you're doing. Pretty scary stuff!

Was there any reason you were off your meds? Can it be avoided so it doesn't happen again?

Well, good to see you back!

[noisechannelrocker]

kyndreth
Thank you, friend.
That's alright - Schizophrenia and PTSD are really that well known I don't think? PTSD's evaluation and things are still being updated since it's complex and not all is known about it other than what you can see yourself or what's online.
That's fine. Sometimes when I get depressed I enjoy hearing someone talk to me because it makes me feel like I'm in a safe place.
I just sent you a friends request on Discord. Let me know if you got it!
I'm sorry about the late response. My internet went out then I tried to get some sleep.

murmurlade
Nice to meet you, too! You can call me Christo, Noise, or NCR. I'm fine with either of those.
I'm glad you're doing well and had your first meal of the day! I'm working on art commissions right now.
That's fine! It's always nice to be able to have someone there, even if it's just to listen.

Lemon Cheesecake
I'm glad you've been receiving my pings!
Thank you so much for the kind words and support. I really appreciate it and even your prayers will not go unnoticed. I appreciate those, too.
I do that too - sometimes doing things I enjoy helps snap me back into reality so I can fight through whatever is bothering me.

galled
Thank you!
I was off my meds because my aunt got mad at me and knocked them out of my hand (all in the floor and went under counters where I couldn't reach) and then the second time I dropped them on accident. :c
Thanks! Glad to be back c:

[galled]

Do you live with your Aunt? If so, I would think that kind of behaviour greatly contributes to your PTSD!

It's completely unacceptable for someone to touch you no matter how mad they are at you unless you're in danger.

[noisechannelrocker]

galled
She will hit me sometimes and not only degrade me because I'm mentally disabled, but will make fun me / of how I do things, if I get hurt, and tell me I'm worthless.

I grew up in an abusive home (parents - physically, mentally, and emotionally) and it just took a toll on me. When I told her about my relapse into almost killing myself, I was met with a "Well why didn't you" and "you're wasting my time. you're a man, suck it up"

[Kyndreth]

kyndreth
Thank you, friend.
That's alright - Schizophrenia and PTSD are really that well known I don't think? PTSD's evaluation and things are still being updated since it's complex and not all is known about it other than what you can see yourself or what's online.
That's fine. Sometimes when I get depressed I enjoy hearing someone talk to me because it makes me feel like I'm in a safe place.
I just sent you a friends request on Discord. Let me know if you got it!
I'm sorry about the late response. My internet went out then I tried to get some sleep.

Just let me know whenever and I'll be willing to call so long as I'm available/have a mic.

Yup, I got the friend invite!
Aaaah, I thought it was something like that, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

She will hit me sometimes and not only degrade me because I'm mentally disabled, but will make fun me / of how I do things, if I get hurt, and tell me I'm worthless.

I grew up in an abusive home (parents - physically, mentally, and emotionally) and it just took a toll on me. When I told her about my relapse into almost killing myself, I was met with a "Well why didn't you" and "you're wasting my time. you're a man, suck it up"

Also, holy shit, your aunt is a bitch!

[galled]

You need to get out of there. Is there some social services that you can call on? Physical abuse is not tolerated in any western country that I'm aware of. You're in the UK, right? You need to start making inquiries. Get out of there ASAP. Press charges if you need to. No one deserves that kind of treatment.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

[+] SPOILER

If your parents grew up in an abusive home, then I imagine so did your Aunt and unfortunately one perpetuates the other...did your Aunt ever have children? You probably feel obligated to your Aunt for taking you in and are in a no-win situation in your mind. She probably wants to help you - otherwise why would she have taken you in - but doesn't know how especially is she probably never learned to deal with her own abusive background.

I know some countries have better mental health care then others, are you able to go to a group home at all? They generally have people trained to help you through your episodes and find ways to train you to cope. It sounds like you have challenges but you are aware of your weaknesses and that's a big step in coping. I don't know if your challenges can be cured or if you will have to be on a maintenance program (which I am assuming the meds are) for the rest of your life...but you seem to have a greater understanding of your situation then most Drs probably do and I can't see why you wouldn't be able to find a way to get a job at helping others in your situation some day. I would think you would be a great asset to helping others get the care they need earlier so they wouldn't have to suffer alone so long.

I guess what I am getting at you is you are not worthless and hopefully you can turn the negatives into a positive someday, use your disabilities to help others. I am more worried that you do not feel safe and the stress of that triggers so many other factions of your life and inhibits you from moving ahead. (Maybe buy a lottery ticket - do they have those in your country)? Once you can afford to get your own place and set your own rules, get locks and security etc, that makes you feel comfortable and safe, there may be some improvement in overcoming your struggles. I am assuming the meds will have to continue but your fear may be more manageable?

I didn't realize I wrote so much - so I shrunk it so as not to take up too much space.

[murmurlade]

noisechannelrocker
ill call ya NCR like everyone else is doing :>
ohhh! art commissions? do you have a da or something?
for some reason, every time i reply to you i do it while having breakfast haha... having cereal today as well.
/lies on the floor
accidentally bought like 8 packets of cornflakes and now we're all sick

[Yuracye]

noisechannelrocker Ahhh, I hope everything is going well. I stalk your twitter quite often to check up on you, but that's about it. ;;;

[Kyndreth]

How've you been? noisechannelrocker

[noisechannelrocker]

Hey, everyone. I'm sorry about the late response. Been busy and dealing with a lot of things the past few days. I've mostly stuck to Twitter to post things and haven't been checking other sites I'm on much. :c

How are you all doing today?

galled
Currently there's an on-going investigation (I've already called a sort of social services that works with the facility that I'm being treated at) and they are slowly gathering evidence so they can make a case against them and hopefully get me into some sort of housing so I will be in a safe place with my cat. Not sure how those things work, though.

I meet with my attorney soon to work on getting disability for me since I'm unable to work, as well.

kyndreth
I'm okay today. I went to the park by myself today and watched the birds play and swang on a swing. How about you?

murmurlade
That's fine and yes! I have a deviantart. Here is the link!!
Are you having breakfast now as well? xD

Lemon Cheesecake
I do feel obligated since she took me in when she really didn't have to. She never dealt with childhood abuse and neither did my parents. My parents were never punished for treating people badly and think they have zero consequences (me being adopted by my aunt was a huge relief to them because I wasn't something they would have to worry about anymore). From what I've heard (my aunt is adopted into the family and not related to me by blood, but grew up with my mother) my mother has always been cruel, and so has my father. Personally if it was up to me I would just call them by their names, but I don't want to seem rude or talking out of spite.

Thank you so much. I hope I'm able to get better and stable so I can help others that are like me. First I have to help myself so I can get to that point.

(if I left out anything in my reply please tell me - my hands are cramping and it kinda hurts to type )

yuracye
I'm doing okay today!! How arey ou?

[murmurlade]

noisechannelrocker
i watched you on dA, i like how vivid your art is~
actually, you just missed my breakfast time by an hour or so. close, though! i had salmon with bread today-- with some leftover ingredients from the seafood pizza i made yesterday!

are your fingers okay? you type a lot at one go omg

[Lemon Cheesecake]

I'm so glad you popped on and are letting us know a little of what is happening in your life.

[+] SPOILER

Now it seems to make more sense with your Aunt - if your Mom has always been cruel there is probably animosity between them and at one point your Aunt probably felt like she was rescuing you. Unfortunately, people have difficulty handling rescued animals let a lone rescued people. I wish it could have gone better for you but It sounds like you are on your way to being in a stable environment which should help quell some of those fears and hopefully help you to get some balance in your life. We hope for the best for you!

[Kyndreth]

Ah, well, I'm glad there's progress. Hope things will go well then. I'm glad you were doing alright today. I... basically got a hair cut then stayed home and did pretty much nothing of use. I need to remedy that because there's so much shi... shtuff, to do.

[Yuracye]

Noise: Doing alright. My stomach is growling like crazy despite not really feeling hungry. orz.
I'll give it little while longer before I get food, I suppose. q vq ;;

I'm still super excited about my hair though!!