~ Watery's Pond ~ Here's to a happier New Year!

[Watery Star]

Thanks MonkeyGirl, Merry belated Christmas to you too.

Hi Pixelz whom I always just go with how your username is spelled :p

Pengwing watch: 6:02pm be on the lookout for penggy #3!
Caught: #1 at 5:18pm , #2 at 5:42pm, #3 after 6:30pm; 3/20 of the day. 22 pengwings total!

[npixelz]

Indeed!
Hiya!
Oh nice

[Gingerale]

Here's to a less fearful New Year and being able to travel to see family.

[Watery Star]

Here here to that Gingerale!

My mom texted me yesterday. She wants to visit next Saturday but between her being very busy and me being unwell(in a fibro flare etc) I tried to urge her in us waiting until it was better timing for us both. She replied hoping I feel better but seeming to ignore what I had asked. My parents are planning to visit my grandma in Florida so it's like I know things are going to be calming down for her. I haven't been well this month so it's hard for me to think I'll be ok in a week as well.

I really wish she'd allow herself some downtime. She pushes herself too hard. My dad is trying to get her to switch to part-time. I don't think she understands how concerned we all are of her overdoing it, she's nearing retirement age and diabetic. She shouldn't be pushing herself like she's been doing the past 20 years. It's not worth it. My dad told my grandma about scaling things back (like their motorcycling hobby) to accommodate for it. But she's stuck in the mentality that she has to keep doing what she's been doing.

[Gingerale]

Some people thrive on being active. I have heard of people who retire and can't handle the down time. On a sad note many of the seniors who are used to being active have been going into depression with the shut downs. Scaling back for some people is like a prison sentence.
Sounds like your Mom might be worried about YOU and wants to make sure she can see you and that is why she is pushing to come out? Seniors here are getting the vaccine but I think it still takes a month to be considered 95% effective.
Sorry that the flare ups are so consuming for you. Worse that there really isn't much they can do for you rather then to just endure it.

[Watery Star]

Thanks

Yeah my parents like to be active, especially going for weekend or day trips. But it's important to know the difference between what you want versus what you really need. I really wish my mom understood that she doesn't need to work so hard. If she went to part time then she could enjoy more time for other things and still be able to do the things she really wants to do.

My parents prefer to visit then texting or calling. Last year I stayed with them over Christmas and it didn't go well. I wasn't well and my mother wasn't either. It kind of felt almost pointless being there. I was more of a burden because of my health needs when my dad was already having to provide that kind of care and assistance to my mother.
My mother doesn't seem aware even with it being a year later. I'm so worried that something is going to happen to her. Trying to talk to her about it, she acts like I can't relate to her because she has to work. I have the "luxury" of being disabled and being able to focus on my health. My dad is a manager of his department and is able to take time off when he needs to(but still gets calls especially since taking over charge of the building maintenance) so again she feels it's different for her. Her job sucks and it's always a struggle. She's gotten caught up in the sunken fallacy, she's put so much time there that she feels she can't leave. Her mindset has gotten even more narrow, any change she's so uncertain of. I wish we could convince her otherwise.

Things go ok when they come to visit. My mom is usually so tired that it's a fight for her to stay awake though. So that's why I don't want them to visit right now. I can't imagine she's been sleeping well. Why come here and fall asleep at the table? It's not about it being a mess or not feeling prepared, we both need rest and it's like I'm having to be the grown up. We all want to see each other but what we really need is to take care of ourselves first.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Maybe you can have a heart to hear with your Mom and let her know what you've shared. Maybe it would open her up to being honest with you about what she is afraid of regarding slowing down work or even with her health. Even just gently sharing that she should take the time to rest at home on her break and when things open up then come to visit. You are in a tough spot but good for you thinking rationally. I hope you or your Dad can help your Mom realize some things are more important then work and sometimes its ok to have a rest day.

[npixelz]

That sounds no good. Overworking yourself is a very serious thing. It can lead to burnout and health issues. I hope you can sit down with her (over a phone call or something), and get her to understand that she needs to put herself on a higher pedestal than she currently is doing.

[Gingerale]

When you speak from the heart I generally find people are more receptive since they don't perceive it as being critical, but that you genuinely care about them.

[galled]

To add another dimension to things, you have to consider that some people depend on work as giving them their sense of purpose--what defines them. It's almost like an OCD thing. It's not something that can be solved by logic alone. Having to give up their job/purpose because they're no longer able is a nightmare for them because they feel like that's a failure. I've found the key is to find another important role to re-purpose this sense of self. I know on the surface it's an odd way to see things, but I hope that makes sense.

[Watery Star]

Hey~

Sorry I disappeared. Kinda had a mental rut where chatting online was difficult.I've been doing well. Which in a way made me feel guilty for not posting here. But it seems that I did need some time to mellow out and play video games or binge a show etc. taking time to myself.

This past week though I've felt like myself again. I had been doing fine but not able to get out of couch potato mode. Each time feeling physically/mentally weak/fatigued anytime I tried to do a bit more than being a loaf. But now it finally feels like things are clicking in place. All the things I've been working on past several months to years... finally I really feel like I'm back to where I've been trying to reach.

I'm fully vaccinated. So are my parents. Can finally have them over without the worry. I even learned a new recipe: Dan Dan noodles; that's easy enough to prep and Eagle can help cook if needed! Plan on making it for my parents when we can arrange for them to visit.

I'm so happy that things have been working out. Such a relief. I've been empowered.
But I've also been mindful to pace myself. Been a solid week of doing well so far!

Hope all is well here

[Lemon Cheesecake]

It's been a crazy year. I am so happy you have survived it and are making plans for the future!

I know you suffered normally from health issues and the covid shutdowns have not helped.

I had covid so I am naturally vaccinated which new reports seem to confer that protection looks like it can last for a long time.

[Gingerale]

Watery Star The shirt and skirt my avatar has on just left the Lazarus shop. They made a revisit to the shop. Do you have them? If not, I can send you them.

[Watery Star]

It's been a crazy year. I am so happy you have survived it and are making plans for the future!

I know you suffered normally from health issues and the covid shutdowns have not helped.

I had covid so I am naturally vaccinated which new reports seem to confer that protection looks like it can last for a long time.

How are you doing at the moment?

Watery Star The shirt and skirt my avatar has on just left the Lazarus shop. They made a revisit to the shop. Do you have them? If not, I can send you them.

No I missed it. Only if it's no trouble.

[Watery Star]

Things were so much more relaxed back in April and earlier this year. I feel kind of overwhelmed already with trying to remain more active, outside of my old routine. Though I am glad that I've refocused myself so that I don't feel so isolated.

I'm also happy & looking forward to being able to get out of the house to do things again. Having people visit me.

Last Wednesday, I had a friend come visit!
It was kind of awkward because we haven't been on good terms. I wasn't really sure how much I wanted to talk to her. I had been keeping myself distant from her online. I thought she was offline and she spotted me while I was messaging my brother on FB. I also happened to also be having a conversation with old roommate(temporary situation before getting & moving into current home). I rarely have conversations on FB because I either sign in late at night or FB is being screwy. So of all times to actually be chatting on there and not just replying & liking posts.. I ended up having 3 separate chats going on. I tried to focus on the two but then went ahead and talked to that friend too.
I finally knew how to respond in a neutral way. She offered to visit me since she was going to be in nearby. So all in all it worked out. She apologized & really took accountable for her actions that really led to us having a falling out. She's turning herself around and paying back people that she owes. So the hostility between Eagle and her should also be finally resolved sometime soon once she finishes paying back my ex.

Anyway some drama but a lot of the personal drama seems like it'll all work out(I'll spare the family drama). Feeling more hopeful again. It's nice been there's also a lot of news/info to process.