College Application Anxiety & Woes

[Polaris]

My last year of high school has finally hit me in the face and I've all of a sudden gotten seriously anxious and panicky about the colleges I'm applying to. I mean, I guess I'm a smart kid but I honestly don't know if my grades and EC's (extra curriculars) can get me far enough. Everyone seems to be doing so much more than me, and I'm regretting all the years wasted in not doing more EC's and volunteer work now that I'm scrambling to apply for volunteer opportunities. I guess this anxiety is normal for everyone applying to college and university, but I'm terrified about whether I even make the cutoff or can get in to the schools I'm applying for. I want to go to med school and become a pediatrician or do something in preventive medicine, but when I look at my grades all I can think is, "These definitely aren't the grades of a doctor, much less a nurse."

Maybe the colleges I'm applying to are too far out of my reach? Maybe I'm diluting myself? Or maybe it's just the nerves? I don't know. Can't really sleep now or breathe much either.

On another note, nothing I do feels good enough anymore. Everyone expects so much of me because of the high expectations I set in middle school (I only got A's and A-'s, but that was a different time). I know I shouldn't dwell on the past because it's the past, but I can't help it -- I obsess over it and dwell on it until it breaks me and I crawl back up from the ditch I dug myself (I tend to dig my own grave a lot). The one good thing about me is that I can always climb up after hitting rock bottom (there can't be success without failure, yada yada...) but everything's different now. I just want to impress and live up to the expectations of my family and myself, but sometimes I feel like I've set them up too high and now it's come to bite me back in the butt. I really should be working on my essays and applications right now, but I just can't bring myself to. I've always thought of myself as a procrastinating perfectionist. It's like I want to try hard and make everything perfect on the first try (it's weird I know), but at the same time I don't want to try because I fear failure. I fear failure and abandonment. Like, if I don't get into any of the schools I'm going for, I'm terrified that people will abandon me or something. I always have to constantly prove people I'm good enough and I need constant validation that I'm good enough (but sometimes even that isn't enough to satisfy this need of validation).

I don't know man, I really don't know anymore. I can't sleep either so it's looks like I'll be binge watching Studio Ghibli movies and Team Starkid productions in an attempt to make myself feel better. Also, sorry for the long ramble.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

You are not alone in your anxiety - check back on some of the threads on here!- and if you weren't the type to plan back in your freshman year what you wanted to do, and even if you know what you want to do after school, the high school graduation year is a sudden realization that "this is it". Next year you are "an adult" and will have to either be continuing your education or working (or both).

[+] SPOILER

If your family would have a hard time coming up with funds for University for you then I suggest checking out your local colleges and getting your basic general ed classes done there. It's often a third of the price, you can usually get the classes you need and you have the chance of actually conversing with the Prof's. There is no shame in going to college first and you can transfer to a University in your Junior or senior year, the degree still comes from the University - and down the road no one will know you didn't go there full time.Just confirm that your credits can transfer. However, I am not sure of the prerequisites for premed, so check that out (such as do you have to get your bachelors from attending a University?)

Your High school should offer seniors an informative continuing education evening that discuss what credits you need, when you need to apply by and funding options.Hopefully the school counselor is helpful too.Some HS have peer classes or student body that go toward the volunteer requirements. Donating items to charities can give you some of the points. The school should have a list that tells you what counts and who is looking for volunteers.

You don't have to tell people where you are applying, just tell them you don't want to jinx it (or something). Each application costs money so you may not want to apply to a lot of Universities. Some States offer cheaper costs for residents, some Private schools are trying to get students from other States so they offer scholarships. Hawaii apparently used to want students from other states and I think waved the out of state fees .

Have you discussed with your family your options? What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? 20 years? Have you had any actual work experience yet? You are the one that has to live with the decisions you make. Your friends will go there own way and 5-10 years later most people will have forgotten what college/university you went to (unless you are one of those that like to remind people). So, what are you passionate about? What do you think you want to work at, since you are the one who will be working it? Check out what would happen if you start with premed but decide to refocus to something else, occupational therapist or some other medical field - what credits will transfer so that you are making the most use of your time.
Another thought: sometimes you stand a better chance getting into some Universities after you have done a couple years at College. What do the Universities you are looking into suggest? Have you got anyone you know who has gone through University lately that can give you advice?

If you do nothing then you are guaranteed to fail. If you try and persevere you have the opportunity of accomplishing something more. You either discover you like it and that's a success or that you don't but you still win because you tried and you found out and won't be wondering for the rest of your life.

in the meantime - take a few deep breaths when you are getting anxious and do some research. You don't have to apply every where, narrow it down.

[Bassy]

Here this from a college student on her second year (Me) who has been through what you're experiencing. I KNOW I never did great as the others when I was a senior in high school. My ACT was the minimum for the college I attend. I wanted a 21, but I took it twice and I couldn't get the 21 I wanted, made me feel kind of unsmart....I even took an example of an IQ test in my class two days ago....I FLUNK'D it fml. But it doesn't define intelligence as people THINK it does. I was nervous about college, new school, new people, and you're kind of on your own. Though you can still call your parents every weekend if you feel the need to. Also trying to make friends is the hardest part. Don't worry, there will be lots of opportunites.

No one is NEVER smart enough to go to college. A friend of mine is below the benchmark for my university and he still made it through. Though it's not that bad. Just do the homework on time, even if it's not perfect, you'll get points for doing the assignments. It's just another big step in your life on figuring out what you want to do as well as who you are as a person.

As of failure, I think it's a fear everyone has. I have it, too, like bad. I failed my first semester (mostly cuz I been over worked at work) and I had a mental breakdown sorta in front of my parents. I hated failure. I did a little better in my second semester. I changed my major and my new major seems a bit better, and is required to be involved lol. But I know that failure is an opportunity to learn from it. Failure is a bad thing... but NOT always. It's knowing that you have tried your hardest and not giving up to try harder.

I know this may seem jumpy... I just worried about my car getting towed lol.

[galled]

Great advice!

- College before university is what I did. I saved a ton of money!

- I fully agree about handing your work in on time--better something not so good than nothing at all.

- I'll add that as long as you learn from failure, it's really not a failure. Everyone fails and if you're like everyone else you'll have many of them (all part of life). What matters most is not that you fail, but what you do after to pick yourself up. Just keep chipping away at it a little at a time and you'll get there!

[Polaris]

Thank you all for the advice ´･ᴗ･`

I've calmed myself down over these past few days, and I'm trying not to let things get to me (can't say the same for the upcoming school year, though). Money's kind of tight right now, especially with my mom being the only one working in our family, but she's told me not to worry about application fees and testing fees. I'm already planning to sign up to take 3 SAT II's in October, but the cost of each test is around (USD) $23 and registration fee is $20 so that totals to $80. I also kind of want to redo my SAT I score (1250), but I don't know if I have enough time and if I can because some of my deadlines are October 15 of this year (plus testing registration & fee is around $50). Then there are the college application fees, and some of them can be up to $75+

I already know in my heart that I want to work with kids and in the medical field, so I'm dead set on becoming a pediatrician. I just really want to go to a good college and then go to a good med school, but I'm really worried about not making it to any of the schools I'm going for. My eldest cousin just graduated from Keele University in London (he went abroad for his undergrad) and gave me some advice, and when I told him about my credentials and asked if I had a shot at any of the colleges I'm planning to apply to he said I had a chance but there's no guarantee. I guess he gave me a benefit of the doubt, but at the same time it makes me even more anxious.

I've also applied to a couple organizations and hospitals in my area so I can get some hospital experience or experience working with kids. The only thing I have right now is some baby sitting experience and I worked with some kids during a school-sponsored retreat to help out struggling immigrant families in Camden, New Jersey (one of the top 3 poorest cities in the US).

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Polaris, you may qualify for FAFSA and I think they have changed the policy so that they will go by the previous years income tax and let you update it later when this year is done. Apply as soon as you can.

If you are under a certain pay bracket FAFSA will cover quite a bit of your school costs (not living expenses though). Sometimes you can qualify for grants as well.Check out for what your State offers.

Apply for every scholarship you can at the high school, you may not get accepted but that's ok, don't take it personally because if you don't apply you won't get it anyway and no one needs to know if you applied, makes them surprised if you win. Some will cover books at least.

Find out if the testing is important to the Universities you are applying to. You may not have to take any extra.

If you can live at home and go to college that will save you A LOT of money. It may seem a bit restraining but it is only for a short period of time.

Again, college is cheaper and generally easier to get into and you are taking the same courses but more often with better teaching and more accessibility to classes and it is easier to get into some Universities later with the credits behind you.

[Bassy]

Getting experience is a good idea. It's good that you know what to do. I have to have 3 internships with like 390 hours (ugh) but I hope my new major is something I could enjoy.

GET ALL THE SCHOLARSHIPS YOU CAN GET. This was my mistake and I wish I could turn back time. Though there are more for Juniors in High School, but there are still a lot for seniors. There are even some ridiculous scholarships out there lol like writing a paper about zombies lol

My parents have and is still helping 2-3 of us with college. And actually one parent. I feel bad, but I'm gonna make it worth it.

[Polaris]

I'm definitely applying for FAFSA in October, but I have no idea where to start looking for scholarships to apply for. My school's Naviance software gives one gigantic list of scholarships, but I still don't know how/where to look in that list.

I've been thinking about applying to a college in Canada since I might be able to get a scholarship/financial aid just for studying abroad (I can get a partial scholarship which will pay for half my tuition and cover my board and lodging, I think?). Are there any scholarships I can apply for that can give me some help with paying for a school abroad (other than FAFSA, b/c I know FAFSA recognizes some international colleges & universities)

[Lemon Cheesecake]

check if your school has an international studies group, they might know. Your school counselor "should"
be able to help you.

For scholarships, start at one end of the list and work your way through. See if your school has an online bulletin and they will often list when some scholarships are ending. Just look over what they are looking for and if you make some of it - apply. The sad thing is that often not very many students apply, the good thing is that would increase your odds.

[galled]

I don't know if grades can really hold you back in the grand scheme of things. A comedian once said, "somewhere in the world, right now, is the world's worst doctor. Think about it!" Of course, I'm not saying you'd be the worst, but the range of doctors is quite large really (I've personally seen some really bad ones) and I'm sure you're not at the bottom academically.

That said, there are a few ways to become a doctor. We knew an excellent pediatrician who began as an Air Force doctor. The military will train you and pay at the same time. You'll just need an undergrad degree to qualify. So another path to consider.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Just copying this here in case you didn't see it in the other thread.
check out NCWIT (the National Center for Women & Information Technology : https://www.aspirations.org/

Apply for the NCWIT Award for Aspirations in Computing; Earn scholarships for college; Find computing internships; I think it's only like a page long essay. Do it soon though because I think you have to submit it in Oct or Nov. They desperately want to help women advance in technology so if you are interested in science let the people at your club know. More then one of you can win from a school!

Gallad is correct : you can get the military to pay for the schooling, you just put some of your time in working for them at first, but that is ok!

[Polaris]

Unfortunately, I know I'm not physically OR mentality cut out for the military •́ ﹏ •̀
But that scholarship does sound enticing! I don't think the computing internship or scholarship is for me mostly because my computing, coding, and typing skills are def not up to par since it's not really a biology/medical-ish scholarship, but I'll definitely tell the club about it!
I have looked at some scholarships the schools offer, though most of them are for students who've received an offer and decided to go to that school. Maybe I could apply for a grant? Though I don't know how I could use a grant to fund my tuition for an outside-US school.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

The nice thing about the NCWIT scholarship is you just have to tell them how you use computers to improve your life etc. So if you use them for drawing or use them for data like graphs, experiments for writing research reports etc. Do you want to become a Doctor and use computers to track your patients ailments ( I'm just throwing out a random idea) or have technology advance medicine. The regional scholarship is like $200. The nationals is alot more. Read some of the past winners statements to get ideas.

http://www.nbcnews.com/feature/college- ... m=referral

I saw this link on how you navigate FAFSA. FAQ's, what you need to fill out your form that looked helpful.

[Diana]

Hey! I've gone through the NCWIT program! It's really great!
Originally, the AiC award was aimed at girls in computer science, but it has branched out to the STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math). You may as well apply, even if you don't use a computer heavily. Though I'm all for encouraging people to go into Computer Science.
If you win, it's a great experience, you get to meet a lot of other like-minded girls, listen to wonderfully motivational speeches, get lots of scholarship and job opportunities, and gain some great references. If you don't get selected, you'll have been able to get practice selling yourself (and you can apply every year if you choose to refine your essay).

Have you considered into going into biomedical engineering at all? Maybe you'd be interested in designing assets for children? like robotic prosthetics, pacemakers, or hearing aids.
Or like Lemon said, you can say you'd be using computers to store patient data and streamline your pediatrician office's workflow.

RE Scholarships:
A lot of the grants and scholarships I got came from the highschool and the university (so I got approved for them after I enrolled). You may want to look and see what the collages you are looking at going to offer.

I have had a... seemingly, unique experience with college so far. I would honestly say if you're looking to finish in reasonable time with the least amount of heartache it would be better to take all your GE classes at a community college (cheaper and also easier to get classes you need) and then transfer into university as a Junior (has higher priority getting classes).

[Polaris]

One of the courses I've been looking at is a sort of intro course to both biomed engineering and biomed science. I've never been one to play around with computer stuff, but I like the idea of using computers to store patient data. Too many times I've seen patient data being lost under piles and piles of paper (personal experience o ~ o), so maybe using knowledge on computer science could help me find ways to help the clinic/hospital I could potentially work at to organize their files better. I mean, technology's advancing so fast that everything can change in the blink of an eye!

Okay, I think I'll try out for the scholarship! ( ´• ▽ •` )/