Childhood Fears

[Maro]

I've never been to the mainland in my entire life actually.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Maro: oh, you have to do it! Take a long a friend, plan a trip for next summer( ferries aren't always fun in the winter). Can you go for a day trip, like take an early morning boat and come back on the last one? How long is the ferry ride from you to the mainland? How close to the harbor are you?

[murmurlade]

I'm deathly afraid of mold and fungi on food. I really liked cup instant noodles when I was like 10, and I used to eat them after dinner. One time my mom came downstairs and I didn't want to get caught (bc i wasn't supposed to be eating it haha) so I chucked the half-finished cup into the cupboard.

A couple days later, my mom decided to clean up the cupboard.. and.. she found the cup. It was covered in mold. She got really mad, and forced me to finish it, mold and all. I got really sick after that haha.
I still like instant noodles, but I freak out everytime there's mold on bread or anything.. bad memories.

[MonkeyGirl18]

Why would she have you eat the moldy food? That's not very good parenting.

I wouldn't eat it, no matter how much I was told to. They would have to eventually give up.

[murmurlade]

Punishment for lying lol. I'd pick that over her telling my dad about it though, cos things get ugly when he's involved... typical asian parents who like 'traditional' punishment....

We joke around about how american parents would probably go "Are you hurt? Are you okay?" if their child falls down and starts crying. And ours would say "I tell you not to run but you still run! Cry lah! You see!"

I'm curious about how others are brought up! XD

[Lemon Cheesecake]

oh Murr! You poor thing!I hope you don't have too many emotional scars from all that!

[murmurlade]

I may or may not, but it doesn't matter much. At least I have a perfect example of how not to treat kids! They're incredibly sensitive, aren't they, lol.

I feel like asian american parents are even harsher though? Sure we get whacked around sometimes but I've heard stories of parents disowning their children just bc they didn't get all straight As or stuff like that

[ShiroGEM]

Oh my god mur no that is terrible parenting. :c Don't eat mouldy food, ever.

Well I don't think that's legal in HK (i'd be terrified if it was) and even if they did do that, don't they ever feel bad for the child? I think it would be dumb if they chose to have a child and ditched them for that reason...

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Sad to say, at one time the baby girls were killed because they weren't a boy. Don't know if that is still the practice in China because I think they have a shortage of women now. I know of people here who adopted girls from China because they were abandoned. How sad that society/cultures set such high standard/value on success and intellect yet disregards the value of a human life.Why is it a male life is considered worth more in so many cultures? Everyone had a mother after all, where do they think those came from? Majority of Teachers who educate are women. The longest reigning monarchs in England appear to have been women. Why did it take so long for women to be able to have a vote in the western cultures? At one point in history women played an important role and were esteemed, what happened?

So often, I find, the impact of words spoken to a child, either positive or negative seems to influence the direction they take later in life. One word of encouragement or discouragement can make or break their confidence and tenacity and mold who they will become.

[murmurlade]

Woah Lem, pretty avatar

@Shiro Legal or not, it can still happen though! I hope you never experience this, hoi,

@Lemon If I'm not mistaken, Japan/Korea are suffering from the threat of extinction... (lmao. not a laughing matter, but..) China still has a one-child policy. Anyway the chinese typically prefer males for several reasons... 1) the ability to support their parents financially when they grow up (as if females can't do this?) 2) carry on the family name and lead ancestor worship.. also, males are preferred for labor in rural areas.

Exactly that. :c My parents explained to me once, that the constant stream of harsh words were supposed to make me stronger and give me the will to prove them wrong-- unfortunately it did the exact opposite. I'm still questioning that logic though, lmao. Breaking a vase and piecing it back together makes it more fragile.

I'm struggling to string together the sentences in my head, but you sound really eloquent, ahhh. Need to work on my english.

[MonkeyGirl18]

The thing I don't get is, if they prefer males to carry on the family name, that's not going to do anything if they don't have girls to create said family to keep the family line going.

I hate it when parents use harsh words to you to help you grow a thick skin. My dad had said harsh things to me all throughout my life and all that caused me was to be afraid of talking to people.

[murmurlade]

true that ^^; ikr? its just awful
my older sister tries to help me through my anxiety though-- like she'll tell me to ask strangers for directions or w/e. it's good practice... sometimes

[MonkeyGirl18]

I feel like mine's getting a little bit better. Having a job kinda helps because you have to talk to your customers, though lately my anxiety's been acting up and I barely say a word to the customers coming through.

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Mur-mur, I'm so glad your big sister tries to help you out! My Sister was so mean to me when I was younger that it really messed me up. She tried to make it up since we became adults but the negative words/things just stay with you. sending you hugs!

Monkeygirl, remind yourself that part of your job is to say "hello" and ask "how can I help you today" then it takes the otis off of you personally and gives you a reason to step out of your anxiety.

[MonkeyGirl18]

The worst thing is, is that I was panicking today because my anxiety was peaking, and I tried so hard to hide it. Though I did stutter very badly and at one point my voice was about to quiver, but I stopped it from happening because I don't want to worry anyone.
I was also getting claustrophobic because the front line doesn't have much room and 3 and more people on the side of the line you're at gets tight.