The Artistry(?) of a (former)(sous)Chef at Work!

[Grass_Kitten]

I see that people here like food, and I have me one whole degree in the Food Arts, so I shall walk you through my process as I cook in the day to day. On our inaugural post, I made a pasta, and it was vegan. I am not, but the pasta is!

what you'll need:

• four sweet peppers
• about a cup of bowtie pasta
• some store bought sauce
• A source of running water; perhaps a stream or a ground well. I for one used a sink.

Here's the steps:

1. Put some water to boil, add some salt, question why you keep buying the pink salt that tastes the same, as your irritation will only make the pasta grow stronger.
2. When the water rolls a bit throw the pasta in there.
3. Go to the fridge and grab that pasta sauce your roommate left over, and make sure it isn't bad. Ya know check dates and do a sniff test.
4. Eat one of the peppers because you deserve it.
5. Cut the others into rings.
6. Put the pepper rings in a pan, heat it up to around medium.
7. Spin 'em around a little with the spatula. You aren't actually sauteeing them I eat raw produce it's just fun to pretend,
8. Pour some sauce over them, reminiscing about how you used to make your own but then remember that took a while and you're hungry now. And then lower the heat because you remember sauce is a sauce and can burn fast. And also like, gotta keep stirring it even though you keep getting distracted.
9. Keep scooping out pasta from the boiling water until you have it as al dente or al mushe as you like.
10. Strain your pasta when it's done, but leave some water in the pot in hopes that this time it really will add something subtle but definitely there.
11. Put the pasta in the sauce and pepper pan and stir it up.
12. You're done. Feel proud of yourself. Like way too proud of yourself because you could use the boost.

Mine looked liek this but yours can look however maybe?

[Tiffany182]

Looks yummy!

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Your recipe is delightful, I really enjoyed the humor! Brightened my day!

[Grass_Kitten]

Glad my goofy cooking is getting some love!

[galled]

Oh, you're very good--cooking and writing! Can't wait to see what you've good cooking for us next time!

[Grass_Kitten]

Huge thanksies

[Grass_Kitten]

Today I created what I'd like to call "Redneck Pretty OK Fried Rice," and I'd like to share it with all of you.

What you'll need:

• A tablet, phone, or PC.(a smart speaker will do ait if you're into that sorta ting)
• A strong sense of humility
• Rice that you cooked the day before. Gotta be cold, like, keep it in the fridge overnight. About a cup.
• A proteine of your choice(optionally you can make it vegetarian if ya want) I picked salmon and am still not sure about the choice I've made.
• Eggs. I used like three of 'em.
• The sweet peppers again because they are going bad soon
• spray oil
• jalapenos, I didn't count what I pulled out the can

What'cha gotta do:

1. Google how to make fried rice.
2. Look at your fridge and pantry and realize just how unprepared you are to make fried rice
3. start cooking your salmon if you decide to follow my foolhardy foot steps. I sauteed 'em it wasn't no big deal.
4. When done move those somewhere else and clean out that pan because what, you got two big pans? You think you're better than me?
5. Chop up your peppers into rings again, maybe strips if you're feeling adventurous.
6. Look desperately for Sesame Oil then spray some knockoff pam in the pan.
7. Apologize profusely to the whole continent and concept of Asia.
8. Throw your peppers into the pan and move 'em about. We are actually cooking them this time!
9. Beat them eggs into a bowl with a plastic fork or maybe a metal fork or an egg beater if ya got it
10. Once they've softened up a smidge push 'em all to one side of the pan.
11. Pour them eggs in and start to scramble.
12. Dump the fridge rice in and mix 'em up
13. Pop the meat in there if you were brave enough
14. Pour some soy sauce over it
15. Mix 'em up
16. Ask your roommate the proper way for photograph chopsticks in relation to a bowl
17. Eats it

[Tiffany182]

Looks yummy!

[Gingerale]

Jalapenos would be a interesting twist to fried rice. I generally sauté chopped onions, garlic, celery and carrots and one egg in my fried rice.

I bet yours would be good with salsa or taco sauce in it.

[Grass_Kitten]

Jalapenos would be a interesting twist to fried rice. I generally sauté chopped onions, garlic, celery and carrots and one egg in my fried rice.

I bet yours would be good with salsa or taco sauce in it.

Mine was a frantic decision based upon realizing I had eggs that go bad in a week. I'm deeply proud/ashamed to tell you neither of these so far were in any way planned. Came out pretty ok tho my room mate likes it.

[galled]

Do you ever cook steak dishes? It's so expensive that it's special occasion fare around here, but it never turns out as good as eating out at a steak house (which of course are even more expensive!). Any tips, tricks, and/or recipes to share?

[Grass_Kitten]

Do you ever cook steak dishes? It's so expensive that it's special occasion fare around here, but it never turns out as good as eating out at a steak house (which of course are even more expensive!). Any tips, tricks, and/or recipes to share?

I used to work with steak pretty often. I would say what the steakhouse is doing that most people aren't is a nice marinade. I don't have any recipes proper on mind, but straight up we could work something out to your taste!

[Lemon Cheesecake]

Do you have a preferred cut of steak you'd recommend?

[galled]

That sounds so awesome (and yummy)!!

My favorite steaks were New York strip steaks from a chain named Tahoe Joe's. (They permanently closed during COVID.)

The nearest I can gather, these were grilled and had some sort of rub or sometrhing on it that made it a little crispy around some of the edges? I know it's not much to go on... Any ideas?

[Grass_Kitten]

Do you have a preferred cut of steak you'd recommend?

I like a rare fillet mignon because I am a pretentious masochist. Though to be quite honest I am usually working with literal stew meat steak like what you'd find in a stir fry or a canned stew, and I'm never upset with that. An on sale T-bone or Porterhouse that I can feed myself and a couple others with is always exciting, and when I go with those I keep it simple with a swiss mushroom gravy.

That sounds so awesome (and yummy)!!

My favorite steaks were New York strip steaks from a chain named Tahoe Joe's. (They permanently closed during COVID.)

The nearest I can gather, these were grilled and had some sort of rub or sometrhing on it that made it a little crispy around some of the edges? I know it's not much to go on... Any ideas?

So I did some digging, and it was definitely grilled(on a nice grill looking at those gorgeou diamonds) and very likely dry rubbed. The crisp on the edges came from getting licked by some very real fire more than likely. Tho I am not seeing a lot of reviews for it in particular, do you remember a specific taste or texture that made you go, "Wow das a lot more gooder than the other steak at that other steak house"? A dry rub is pretty easy to get the basics, but if there was some magic there I don't want to just send you willy nilly into some basic recipe site and set you up for disappointment, ya know?